Hey all, I am new to this site so ill start by introducing myself.
I am female, aged 19 and live near London. I am going university this year to study graphic design and being a student, I only work part time.
My boyfriend is aged 20 and studying illustration at university in London, and we've been together for 2 and a half years now. We've been on and off in the past, breaking up then getting back together without really solving our past problems. We got back together properly again in December after being apart for nearly 5 months, and spoke about everything and I'v been really happy. So that's all the background summed up!

Ok so now for my question..

Last night, he told me that he was upset because he wants me to be more affectionate towards him. He said I don't hug him as much as he hugs me, and I don't tell him I love him very much. He feels like its always him hugging, kissing me and telling me he loves me when we see each other. He said it would be nice to get affection off his girlfriend and it's the number 1 thing that he'de love to get from me.
I told him I promise that I'm guna change that for him and show him I love him more and make him feel loved because I never really realised before that it upsets him. I am fine with sending him affectionate texts, letters etc, just not in person.
I'm brought up in a family that's not very affectionate. My dad is not affectionate at all, he would never hug me or tell me he loves me, he's a very serious man and he's not even affectionate to my mum. My mum is slightly more loving but I still don't get many hugs off her.
I really don't want to be like this anymore, I don't want my future kids to be unaffectionate either. I really do want to be a more loving person and I do love my boyfriend very much. I just want to know how I can teach myself to be more affectionate and get into the swing of it all?
Not just for my boyfriend, but for myself. I already feel really good about myself when I do act affectionate to my boyfriend once in a while, and the other day I did tell him that I really love him whilst hugging him and it really did put a huge smile on his face and it made me happy to see it. But that happens only once in a while and I want to be able to do it more..
Please tell me how I can start being more affectionate and loving and how I can teach myself to change that aspect of me?
Thanks everyone!

Well I think you are just having a problem in expressing yourself

You love your boyfriend a lot but are unable to show it, is that a case?
See dear,your boyfriend can't get into your head and find out how much you love, its you who has to show him that you do love...


Now as you told your family background I know it must be difficult to express affection when you've never seen anyone do it while you grew up

Talk it out with your boyfriend and start making conscious efforts towards it. Take 1 step at a time and ask your boyfriend to support you throughout this process...


All The Best!! Wish I could hug you... giving or receiving hugs can be a real stress buster you know...

Thank you RJS, I'm going to try take it a step at a time. I told him I am guna try really hard and he said I don't need to worry about it and keep thinking about it, he just really wants me to make effort to do it more.
But how can I just get into my head that being affectionate is a real positive thing in lots of relationships, families etc? And get rid of that subconscious barrier inside me? Its like id feel stupid if I was affectionate all the time, like its pride or something, but I never think that about other people who are warm to others. I don't understand it really. I just know that ide love to be a warm person without feeling silly about being affectionate all the time, eventho its not silly at all and I know its not. Not sure if I'm making sense lol.

Take up a vow, lets say something like at least one hug a day...

So before the ends you have to hug someone(either your boyfriend or loved ones), hug and say something even iif you find it extremely silly, overtime it'l all become fine ad who knows you'l turn into the most loving and affectionate person...

Best of Luck!!

Practice makes perfect. The more you do it, the easier it becomes to do.

Thanks guys!
That gives me confidence :) I'm going to keep on trying and make lots of effort to be more affectionate, and hopefully overtime it'll come naturally :)