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    kristina1205's Avatar
    kristina1205 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 13, 2008, 11:48 AM
    Is he using me?
    There is this guy that I met about a month ago. I didn't even know his name. Ever since then he would walk by me saying "kristina!!" and I would just smile. I barely knew him. Then I began talking to him a bit more and ran into him at the mall and we exchanged numbers. He flirted with me through the messages and would always say how pretty I was. THat week before winter break, he would ditch his friends and be with me and everything was picture perfect. Last day, we hooked up. He talked to me as soon as I got home and wanted to come over on Friday and I was looking forward to it and ew talked about that non stop. Then he couldn't make it on Friday but promised on sat. but on sat he never even bothered to call or saying anything. We talk online a lot and he tells my friends he likes me and when I asked him he said "kinda" When I see him he doesn't ditch his friends anymore but sometimes he'll come over. But rarely. We hooked up again on Friday and I haven't talked to him since. I seriously like this guy and I'm scared if I say something I could scare him away. What should I do?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Apr 13, 2008, 11:55 AM
    I agree if you say you really like him it could scare him off.
    I wouldn't say he is using you because I don't see where he is taking advantage of you.
    He could just be unsure of what he wants.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Apr 13, 2008, 07:26 PM
    How old are you two?
    kristina1205's Avatar
    kristina1205 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 14, 2008, 12:19 PM
    16 :\
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #5

    Apr 14, 2008, 12:42 PM
    Back off.

    So you like him. Fine. You are going to like a lot of guys. So he compliments you. Words are easy to say. More guys will compliment you.

    Time to see if he's all talk. Back away. Doesn't mean be mean, but stop being there every moment for him. Good for him and good for you.

    You don't want a girlfriend... you want a guy who is interested and willing to chase you some. Likewise, I think its better when a person doesn't ditch their friends all the time... healthy friendships make a healthy person... you see his dropping his friends as a sign of interest.. I see it as a potential conflict.

    So step back and stop worrying so much. If he's interested, he will chase some. You can be available some, but don't make all your time about him. Locking out the rest of the world for one person is rarely a good idea.

    Time to back off, be friendly, but don't be so available all the time for him. Maybe he's just with friends. Maybe he's just playing games. Maybe he's interested and busy.

    No fun dating a butler or a maid. You want someone with their own interests, views, friends... its what makes other people interesting. Time to relax, back off, and let him come to you. If he doesn't, he isn't as interested and then you really need to rethink the situation.
    Depressed in MO's Avatar
    Depressed in MO Posts: 571, Reputation: 94
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    #6

    Apr 14, 2008, 12:57 PM
    "We hooked up again on friday and i havent talked to him since. I seriously like this guy and im scared if i say something i could scare him away. What should i do?!"

    Did anybody catch the fact that they "hooked up"? Also, it says "We hooked up AGAIN on Friday".

    To me, it sounds like he is using her. But can't really determine that as I don't know if she means they are having sex or just hanging out.
    But, if hooked up means having sex, I'd say she needs to stop "hooking up".

    He answered to her "Kinda" when asked if he liked her. But still comes over to "hook up"...
    Hmmmm...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Apr 14, 2008, 12:58 PM
    I really don't think he is mature enough to know how to have fun yet.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Apr 14, 2008, 01:02 PM
    Last day, we hooked up.
    Sorry to show my age but what does "hooked up" mean?
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #9

    Apr 14, 2008, 01:40 PM
    Well, it can mean had sex, but it can also mean simply met. In this case, I assume they spent time together. Sex was never mentioned.

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