I had been in a relationship with him for 20 months; he told me he was separated and will get a divorce. However, his wife continued to live with him under the same roof until about 6 months ago. Since then occasionally she will be at his house and he will lie to me about her visits. I wanted to believe him when he said that he is going to divorce but he could not until his wife is accepting the situation too. He did not want to pay or drag his feet through a multi-year divorce but rather have her file together. It made sense when he said it and I was supportive however I did not understand why her car will be there and why he will lie to me about it.

Anyway, I let him know that he needs to decide what he wants several times and he said he wants me and I will have to be patient. And I was; we will occasionally fight about him procrastinating and he will turn it on me that I do not trust him. Several months ago our intimate life has changed; we used to be with each other a lot. Last few months we were barely intimate with each other. His schedule became work, TV, dinner at my place and going home every night. I lashed out and I told I want nothing anymore because I don't understand him: he replied that he wanted to be out for awhile but did not tell me. He told me he does not want to be with me anymore.

He still says that he misses me and he loves me, or come to give me a hug. I am just sad to have failed and I am sad it did not work out. I begged and humiliated myself. I have a hard time to not beg every day and feel guilty for being impatient (if 20 months are impatient). I do not understand why he will want to see me. I am sad and feel like a failure and I do not find the will to move on and to be telling myself we are done. It hurts me to see his wife car there and I felt used for the last years and like the rebound girl.

You are not even a rebound, he is still with wife and you are not much more than a booty call. Perhaps his wife knows about it and does not care, perhaps he has lies to cover being with you.

So you don't go with him to his home, spend a weekend there ?

He does not want to be with you, so let him go

Sorry but its hard to handle new business when you haven't handled old business yet. That's why you steer clear of people going through or getting a divorce. And separated is the same as unavailable.

They simply haven't finished their business yet, so nothing to see here, move on. Next time trust but VERIFY, before you invest anything.