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    tanyaaa's Avatar
    tanyaaa Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 6, 2011, 09:43 PM
    He talks to a female friend more then he talks to his girlfriend !
    Okay so this is the first time I'm using this site so I really hope I get some helpful answers. So here it goes...

    My boyfriend and I have been together for a little more than 2 years. When we first started dating, I felt like he was playing games with me by showing me affection only behind closed doors and treating me like a stranger at school or in front of others. I translated his body language and believed that he really wasn't interested in me and just wanted sex. When I felt like that about 2 weeks into the relationship I met a new guy and started talking to him as friends which developed more as time passed. After about 4 months of talking to both guys, I realised that the guy I just met was a loser and I let go of him. I never told my boyfriend about this. So yes, I did cheat... not because I was cocky, but because I felt neglected (which I know is still not a good enough reason). About a year into my relationship my boyfriend found out about this other guy and completely went crazy. Since then he always points out how he can't trust me, that he would put a strangers word over mine etc. Now the funny thing is that I introduced one of my friends who was like a sister to me to my boyfriend a few months ago, and since then they talk to each other more than I do with my boyfriend. This really pisses me off because both of them know how much it bothers me that a) my relationship with my boyfriend is not solid, and b) instead of talking things out with me, he's talking to her. This has now ruined my relationship with my friend, and she and I don't talk anymore.

    Now to my real question. A few days ago, my boyfriend told me how he is starting to have romantic feelings for my "friend" but that he wants to get rid of them. I don't know how to react. Should I trust that he will try to fight off these feelings? Or should I be pissed that even though he recognizes that he's having a change of heart, he still continues to talk to her every day and night?

    HELP PLEASE! I Don't EVEN KNOW IF IM THINKING REASONABLY OR IF IT'S JEALOUSY? I have no clue on what to THINK or DO?
    tayloriii's Avatar
    tayloriii Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Feb 6, 2011, 09:50 PM
    I know how you feel I went threw it to. I thought I was not good enough for him but come to find out he does this to all his ex girlfriends so I broke up with him I know what your thinking I love him and do not want to break up with him but if you stay with him he will walk all over you and anybody deserves better than that.
    ken007nielsen's Avatar
    ken007nielsen Posts: 288, Reputation: 211
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    #3

    Feb 6, 2011, 10:00 PM
    Of course he went crazy, he had to find out(you didn't tell him) that you was cheating with him, while being with your ex. That's a major brake of trust, and I'm guessing the relationship hasent been the same since, he's been more distant, and more cold towards you than regular.

    I think he doesent feel secure and safe in this relationship. And is seeking that elsewhere, and if he really wanted to fight off those romantic feelings, he wouldent be speaking to her anymore - so don't count on it.

    And yes you are thinking logical, if my beloved told me that she was beginning to have romantic feelings for another guy. So your not jealous, I would have felt the same way too.

    I would recommend that you end this relationship, because it's not good for either you or him - he doesent trust you nor does he speak to you, he instead continues to chat with this girl he has created romantic feelings for.

    I would rate this relationship highly unlikely to survive since both parties lack communication, you been dishonest with him - and it seems he's not willing to talk it through with you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Feb 7, 2011, 07:14 AM

    What did you expect after you lied, and cheated on the guy, and he finds out a lot later. Does betrayed come to mind? But to be honest, this goes no where, and has been over since you can't talk, and resolve it, and he isn't honest enough to dump you properly. That's makes you both wrong, and this friend isn't helping things it seems, so stick a fork in this thing because, it sounds like its done to me.

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