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Paola2 · Dec 5, 2011, 08:44 AM

Hi, I've been talking to a guy for over a year. We use to see each other EVERYDAY because we work in the same company. But recently I've started a new job and now we barely see each other. But before anything I was married and he has his girlfriend. We know each other since four years ago. We always talk about our problems, and years went by we both started to have an attraction to each other.

Since a year ago we started to date but at the same time he rejected me because I was married. Now I've been separated for almost 4months,and I've been out of my old job since two months ago. We only have seen each other twice and he started change recently. He tells me that he cares about me, that he love spending time with me. But how can he say that when we never see each other anymore. I always tell him how much he means to me. But he is very cold with his answers. He tells me that I always asumimg things, that I shouldn't think like that. But how can't I don't think like when he doesn't uneven call me on the weekends is only Mon-Fri. And I don't expect him to call me everyday or to see me everyday but at least a text once in a blue.

Is he really not interested in me no more?

Fr_Chuck · Dec 5, 2011, 09:16 AM

You were easy and at his work place, so he did not have to put much effort into it. Most likely he is happy with his girlfriend and you were just some fun diversion.

He has made it fairly clear and this is normally how most affairs for married people go. After they leave their spouse, the lover loses interest.

talaniman · Dec 5, 2011, 05:05 PM

He probably has other priorities other than you so accept it, and expect no more. His interest doesn't seem romantic, so was there sex before on these dates? Or were you needy for a friend because of a failed marriage and losing your job?

I think its fair to say he isn't as interested as he was, nor as interested as you want him to be. Back off gracefully, and seek better interests.

standing47 · Dec 5, 2011, 07:29 PM

Here is another guy wants the best of both worlds he has his wife but he wants u on the side what abasterd

Homegirl 50 · Dec 5, 2011, 09:08 PM

When you were working at the same place you were more visible.
Now you are in a different place and he has a girl friend. You are no longer on his radar.
Get yourself settled from your divorce and leave this guy alone

Paola2 · Dec 6, 2011, 10:31 AM

Hi everyone thanks for your advices.. Well I haven't give you guys all the details. But we never had sex before, he always respected me. At the beginning I wasn't looking for a friend to tell my problems. Everything went smoothly until one day I realized I wasn't looking at him just as a friend. We had a good chemistry together, people assume we were together. But in reality we just started to see each other as more than friends in July/11. He lives in NY and I live in NJ, the two times we have seen each other we will always meet in my old job in Jersey. Also he left to Miami for two weeks and all the time he was calling me to see how I'm doing. Little things like that make me think he does care for me. Im just really confuse? :(

Homegirl 50 · Dec 6, 2011, 11:30 AM

He may care for you but not enough to leave his girl friend and be with you.
You just ended your marriage. Get yourself together. You don't need this kind of drama. You don't leave a marriage and go to another relationship

talaniman · Dec 6, 2011, 12:38 PM

The confusion comes when you can't see him as JUST a friend and want more. Its disappointing and confusing to want something, and not get it. Then you wonder why you can't have what you want, and that's more confusing, and disappointing.

Change your focus to the things you can control, (YOU), and leave the things you cannot control (HIM), alone. Don't worry about how he feels about you, make sure you feel good about yourself, and start TODAY to treat yourself good, and make yourself happy.

Then you won't need his interest to have an interesting life.

hidden123 · Dec 6, 2011, 02:50 PM

I agree with Tali that you need to focus on yourself and take the focus off him. Plus - how much can he possibly be into you if he is in another relationship. Even if he called you every day - he has a girlfriend..