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mon0722 · Jul 28, 2012, 09:11 AM

Ok. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 years. He is kind of a closed off guy and doesn't really like to talk about things. On our one-year anniversary I brought up the topic of marriage and he flat out told me that he never wants to get married. His reasoning was that 50% of marriages end in divorce.

I was upset. He tried to soothe me by telling me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and that he may change his mind in the future. We are almost at 2 years now and I've spent the past year dreaming and hoping that he'd change his mind, picturing him down on one knee, imagining taking his last name. I've asked him how he would respond if I gave him an ultimatum, but he couldn't answer me.

So its almost 2 years and I've been waiting, hoping, and praying. I know this isn't good for my emotional well-being. Advice?

Fr_Chuck · Jul 28, 2012, 09:33 AM

If you want to get married, make it a demand, and stick to it. Often it may take you moving out for a few weeks to change his mind.

Why should he marry, he wants a way OUT, he has his escape planned, because once he gets married there are legal issues, until then he can just pack and go.

So before you moved in, was when the marriage can be gotten easier, not he has all he wants and a marriage is just a bother.

Wondergirl · Jul 28, 2012, 09:37 AM

Why should he marry? He has it all now -- without marriage.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 28, 2012, 09:40 AM

There is a old saying, why buy the cow when you get all the milk free

talaniman · Jul 28, 2012, 05:28 PM

I wouldn't waste more time with a fellow that has no intention of making your dream come true. But you have known this for a year, and done nothing but dream and fantasize?

At least make him sign a contract, to protect what you have already invested.

joypulv · Jul 28, 2012, 06:00 PM

What is the purpose of marriage, other than the dreamy stuff?
Financial guarantees if you get divorced.
If he won't marry and if you won't leave him, then write financial contracts with him if you contribute as much as he does for anything substantial like a house.
If you don't (and if you don't have children), you need to ask yourself which you want more, him unmarried, or someone who will marry you.