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jennaboo_23 · Dec 23, 2009, 07:19 PM

Well, me and cody have been going strong for almost 4 months. Then he starts talking to a good friend of ours, and one day he hangs out with her and they end up kissing. He loves both me and he loves her (clair) too. I told him that all I want is for him to be happy. He went out with clair for about a day then decided that he would rather have me. We are now dating again. The thing is. Clair has called me and she has apologized and she is one of the nicest people in the world. Now I feel like a huge for no reason. I really want to stay with him because I love him and that's the only reason I took him back but at the same time I think clair would be way better for him. But its all up to him. I'm thinking about asking him why he broke up for clair to go back out with me. We're capable of talking about that stuff so its not a problem. I really just need someone to help me or console me or whatever you think you should do to help me. Thanks so much for your time. :) and merry christmas to all of you! God bless!

I wish · Dec 24, 2009, 03:14 PM

It seems as though you're having some self doubts about both yourself and your relationship. If you've enough faith in what you've built with him, you can very well ask him why he ended the relationship with Clair. Be aware, though, that not everyone likes harping on the past. He may not want to discuss it, and you might have to respect that.
But you mention you think they'd be a better couple. That seems like a problem, whether Clair is in the picture or not. It sounds like you've got some issues between just the two of you, and problems and doubts can only be solved with communication. I say you tell him how you feel, why do you seem so concerned about your own relationship?

Devorameira · Dec 25, 2009, 12:11 PM

I am of the opinion that you really don't want him. If that's the case, let Clair have him.

sabrewolfe · Dec 25, 2009, 01:47 PM

Talk to him about it and let him decide what he wants.

Cat1864 · Dec 25, 2009, 02:13 PM

I agree with I wish, he seems to have made up his mind about who he wants to be with and that apparently is you.

I don't know what your conversation with Clair was like, but I don't think it helped any underlying insecurities you have about yourself and the type of 'mate' you think you are. Try accepting that he sees something in you that he wants and likes that maybe you are afraid of acknowledging.

Remember that he went out with Clair. He found out that she wasn't what he wanted. Doesn't matter that you or Clair think otherwise. He knows. Asking him why he chose you or didn't choose her might put him in the position of saying something about her that he might not want to or make it seem like you want to build up your own self-esteem by getting him to speak poorly about her (I am not saying that is what you would be doing. It is just another interpretation of that line of questions).

As difficult as it may be, have some faith in yourself. You may not be like Clair, but then SHE isn't like you.

talaniman · Dec 26, 2009, 02:43 PM

If you don't like the choce he made then what's the point of going along with it?? He made up his mind, and your should have made up yours too.

J. Sparks · Dec 26, 2009, 03:06 PM

Don't worry about what he wants.

Do what's right for you and what makes you happy.