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    Diyarbakir's Avatar
    Diyarbakir Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 25, 2012, 12:35 PM
    He loves me but doesn't want to be in a relationship right now
    So my boyfriend of almost 2 years (next month is supposed to be our two year anniversary), has broken up with me. Actually, I broke up with him first because I thought there was another girl in his life. But really there wasn't! I was wrong and I admitted that it was my fault and I feel soooo horrible. And he got heart broken and agreed to break up. Then when I realized that what I did was completely wrong and I can't live with out him, I cried and cried and pleaded to get him back. But he said he wants to be free. He doesn't want to deal with being in a relationship anymore. He doesn't want to deal with any rules and what not that happen in relationships. I mean everything was going perfectly fine until all this happened. He tweets that he misses me, he told my friend he wants to get back with me and he told me that he still loves me. But... he doesn't want to deal with love right now. He wants it after marriage which is in 5 years or so. He also said that he wants to marry me. I'm so confused. I know he loves me so much and I love him too so then why can't we just be together and work things out? I told him that I will change and be a better person like how I was when he first fell in love with me, but he's very firm on his decision. I really don't know what to do. It's so hard for me not to talk to him. I can't concentrate on anything especially with school coming around the corner. I really want him back. I know we love each other a lot but he's just not cooperating. He even told me to stop saying I love you to him and all. Please help me get him back. What do I do ? :'( <\3
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 25, 2012, 12:41 PM
    How old are the two of you and what made you think he was cheating?
    Leave him alone. If he does not want to be in a relationship you should respect that. Maybe deep down he wants to be single and your accusing him if cheating gave him an out.
    It is not healthy to be that needy of someone. Use this time to build yourself up, become more secure with yourself.
    Diyarbakir's Avatar
    Diyarbakir Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 25, 2012, 01:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    How old are the two of you and what made you think he was cheating?
    Leave him alone. If he does not want to be in a relationship you should respect that. Maybe deep down he wants to be single and your accusing him if cheating gave him an out.
    It is not healthy to be that needy of someone. Use this time to build yourself up, become more secure with yourself.
    Well I didn't really think he was cheating, it was all a misunderstanding. I thought a girl liked him but that girl is trying to get back with his brother so they were just messaging and I guess they're good friends. He just turned 20, all this happened a few days after his birthday. And I'm 18. He told me that we are good friends and he wants us to talk regularly and stuff but I just feel like he's just keeping me on his side. He was never like this before either. In our relationship he was always soooo loving and caring way more than I was! I know this is all my fault and I'm trying to heal but its difficult as you know. :( I have agreed with him to officially break up because that's what he wanted. But I just don't know what to do...
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 25, 2012, 02:07 PM
    You work on yourself, your insecurity and get on with your life.
    It sounds like he is wanting to have a life apart from you.
    Diyarbakir's Avatar
    Diyarbakir Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Sep 26, 2012, 07:43 PM
    I just recently cut contact with him. I read on a lot of reviews and websites that if I want to get him back, then I have to limit contact.. and let HIM miss ME. So.. what else can I do to get him back? I'm healing gradually and the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that one day we will be together again..
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #6

    Sep 26, 2012, 07:49 PM
    You go no contact so you can heal, not so he can miss you.
    He is keeping you on the back burner in case his freedom and other relationships don't work. Do you really want to be treated like that?
    He is not interested in you.
    You need to accept that and get on with your life apart from him. Desperation is not attractive.

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