My best friend has a boyfriend, but they're having problems and she's thinking of leaving. She has a guy friend whom she likes and she thinks that he likes her, too. However, when she has asked him if he wants to be with her, he avoids a direct answer. He doesn't want her to leave her boyfriend for him because he says he's not the type of person to break up relationships. He also says there are no guarantees that they'd work out as a couple. So my question is, is he just not that into her? Would a guy who truly likes a girl be more excited and would say that he'd love to be with her if she were single? He thinks she'll never leave her boyfriend, he had a difficult breakup in the past, they've hinted at relationship in the past. But he refuses to say what would happen if she were single, one way or the other. She has even told him that if he doesn't like her, he should just say so and she wouldn't get upset at all because it's impossible to be liked by everyone. But again he doesn't say one way or the other. He wants to continue the friendship.

So he's an honest guy who doesn't want A her to break up with her boyfriend over him and B wants the friendship to remain the way it is.

Why would your friend want assurances that another possible relationship's on the cards should she leave her boyfriend?

If her relationship is not working she should break up and get over him before getting involved with anyone else.

If she has a boyfriend then she's off limits to him. So he's respecting that aspect. Maybe if she's single, then he will make a move.

What I fear is that your girl friend is waiting for this other guy to confirm his feelings so that she can break up with her current boyfriend to be with the other guy. She sounds scared to loose both guys, so she's just hanging on to her current boyfriend for the sake of hanging on to someone.

That's unfair to both guys involved. She has to separate both issues. If she's happy with her boyfriend, then she shouldn't be thinking about other guys. If she's unhappy with her relationship, then she should either try to work things out or break up. But she still shouldn't be thinking about other guys.

If she actually does break up with her boyfriend, she should spend some time recovering from the break up and not jumping on a rebound.

So whatever the situation is, it doesn't matter how this other guy feels or what this other guy says. Your friends need to sort out her own issues first before thinking about a new potential boyfriend.

Thank you! I totally understand what you're saying. But I was just trying to figure out (from a guy's perspective) if a guy likes a girl if he'd act differently than if he didn't like her even in this situation.

The only person who knows how he feels about her is him. You already asked him. But chances are, he might actually like her, because if he didn't have any feelings, he would have made that clear, to avoid any misunderstanding. But instead, from his perspective, he's trying to respect the relationship, so he gives a neutral answer. Again, this is only speculation, he's the only one who really knows the answer.

The bottom line is that he wants to respect the relationship, regardless of whether he has feelings or not.

Sounds like your friend and her "guy friend" has some unresolved issues if she is trying to latch on to 2 guys at once.

She really needs to let go of that, either she dedicates to her boyfriend and works through issues with him. Or she just needs time on her own to clear her mind.