He feels smothered
Asked May 13, 2007, 06:18 PM
I have been in a 5 month relationship with a wonderful guy who 2 days ago gave me the line “I feel smothered”. He has asked me to give him some time to clear his head.
I have tried very hard in this relationship to do everything right – I feel I am the least needy, demanding & clingy person I know. I rarely instigate contact with him, he always contacts me numerous times a day, almost with a running commentary of his life (I have never suggested he do this). He is a senior executive at work, with lots of pressure and regular overseas travel, he also has full custody of his 2 teenage daughters which is not without difficulties. The only times I truly expect to see him is every second weekend when his daughters stay with their mother and the time we spend together is lovely, if I see him at other times it’s a bonus. He is very dedicated to his work and his daughters and is the type of guy that needs to make everybody happy.
From my perspective he has created the “smothering” feeling himself and somehow justified it by blaming me for it, and at this point I am the thing he can remove from his life while he takes some time to sort himself out.
What I am asking is if this situation seems like a waste of time. Am I settling for 3rd best? Would it be wrong for me to expect more from a relationship? I am recently divorced from a 22 year marriage and have no idea what is acceptable by today’s standards.