I have been with jay for 3 years on and off and we get along pretty well we do have our issues though I have a 3 1/2 years old that is not his and he is wonderful to her. We did break up a while back like 8 months ago and we stayed that way for 4 months with no contact and then by an act of fate we were reunited and got back together and I knew we were both a little skeptic but for the most part is has been going well but these past two week has had me wondering he had stopped showing any affection he stopped wanting to have sex he wouldn't even say that he loved me unless I said it first so I brought it up today by saying do you think things with us has been a little different lately he replied no it must be just you. So I poked a little more by telling him that I really loved him and he replied that he doesn't know if he believes me when I say things like that so I told him I was being honest than I asked him if he really loved me and he replied I don't know. This was all through text messages I told him that through all that we have been through together that I loved him more than anything but that he needed to think about how he really felt because I deserved to know how he feels towards me I am afraid I am going to lose him I don't want to and I don't know what to do he told me to leave him alone because he was at work and he might want to talk to me later I was neve mean to him and now he is so angry I don't know why or what to do its so close to the holidays and this has to happen I can't to lose him please give me some advice how to approach this so I don't lose him. Keep in mind he is very defensive person and gets angry easliy when try to talk about these topics. Not violently angry like gets up and leaves on refuses to answerhis phone tells me he wants nothing to do with me and I should just leave him alone. Please help

Wake up!

Your practically grovelling to this guy begging him not to leave. 3 years and he does not know if he loves you? WOW! Seems like your willing to take anything from this guy.

I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but your post is basically "poor me, he's everything, i can't live without him, don't leave, I'M USELESS"

The guy does can't even say he loves you, strings you along for years and years, and your begging him back? Read it back to yourself and if your cool with it than you really need to discover some self-worth BIG TIME. Perhaps you need time alone to figure out why you think so little of yourself, that's what's going on here, not the guy, YOU!

From what you describe he sounds like a real tool anyway, if that's good enough for you than u might as well wait by the docks for the sailors to come home.

He wants you to leave him alone so if you don't every time you try and contact him it will build up more resentment toward you and justify in his mind why he doesn't want to be bothered with you.

When we had broken up like 8 months ago I had some time to myself and I started a new job and mede new friends I moved I was happy. When we had gotten back together it was like meeting a new person when we had broken up he went into counseling and I started to learn more about myself. And things have been pretty good sure we have had our fights and he has said on hiis own he loves me this is all just happening now where he doesn't say tell me anything he also stated that he has been sick which I don't by I know he had a cold but h is pushing me away I don tknow if this is something that is just a phase because he is scared about being serious like marriage serious or if he has fallen out of love with me and wants an easy out by being a coward and making this be turned into my fault he asked me to leave him alone so I am what do I do now wait for himto make a move and do nothing or do I make an attempt to contact him after he has had time to think

I am heading off to work now and allthat hs happened is me obsessign over this he is a work and now I have come to a my cross road do I call when I get out or not I really am blind sided by this I saw marriage an a family with this guy and now I see myself alone I am a sngle mother who may just be sellling myself short but its not easy when I am raising a kid on my own with no help I know he has feelings but I don't know how strong and he is not an easy person to talk to so do I let it be and see what happens or do I prompt my own ending and hope for the best

I say leave this guy alone. You two are adults. You were together long enough for him to know if he loves you or not and wants to build a life with you and your daughter.
You are acting desperate. You did fine without him before, you can do it again. This on and off again stuff is not good for you and it is not good for your child.
Leave him.

So I went to work last night and we never spoke it was after my shift he sent me a text saying he was don this isn't working so I said OK I'm not going to chase him or be the desperate one anymore I have since only heard from him he would like his stuff back and he has keys to my apartment that I said I would like back as well so I did nothing to poke at the situation I left it at that and said there is no reason for any further contact.

Good for you!

It may not seem like it now, but a wait a couple of weeks and you'llbe glad you did this:)

Good for you. You will be fine.

Sorry for your loss, but it is for the best, as you deserve better.

I know that its for the best but now he's I just being so mean he keepd texting me and digging the knife deeper this is hard and it hurts I know that I will be OK but its so close to the holidays and its hard he told me he didn't belivev me that I loved him so I tolf him that for christmas I had gone and waited in line for 3 hours at 6am in 19 degree weather to get him a nintendo wii and he started sending me screaming text saying how much of a idiot I was and how mad that makes him its easier for me to walk away when he is mean but he is making me feel so used like that past 3 years meant nothing and I have just wasted my time and that sucks I'm a 25 year old single mother its hard to meet people sometime I feel like I'm going to end up alone

You won't end up alone, you just won't have THAT excess baggage

Take a deep breath, and make up your mind to put jerky boy out of your life and focus on making you, and your kids happy, not finding someone to make you happy. Be happy yourself and a good person will come along and want to share it with you, so get busy on your own life, without him in it.

So it has been a little bit since I posted but as I left we were broken up and then just like an addict I relapsed and we got back together but it only lasted a short time and I broke it off with him I realised he will never be the guy I need in the end thanks for all your support