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Queenrage · Sep 8, 2013, 10:38 AM

My boyfriend of over a year cheated on me when he was in Miami for business in January of 2013. In June of 2013, I went through his Facebook (first time doing so) and found messages of him talking to one of his buddies about him cheating on me while there. I confronted him and he said they just kissed. Now, in Sept. 2013 he's admitting to having sex with that girl. He seemed remorseful but now seems annoyed with the way I'm dealing with it... Like bringing it up every time we argue or being upset for 'no reason' and just being quiet. He has now placed the blame on me that I actually was the one who cheated because I had a guy flirting with me through fb and when we had broken up, I had sex with this other guy. He says we should be even? I don't believe what I did was cheating and I also told him about it the second we got back together... Not 8 months later.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 8, 2013, 10:52 AM

So what is your question?
Maybe he has done it again that is why he's arguing with you so much.

N0help4u · Sep 8, 2013, 01:10 PM

The guilty person usually does try to twist it back on you, especially when it comes to cheating. It is convenient for him to see your being with another guy as cheating even though you were broke up at the time. You will never live it down as long as you bring up what he did. Even though the 'now you are even' is childish, it may be better if you let him think that way if you want to work things out. You are not doing any good by ''bringing it up every time we argue or being upset for 'no reason'... '' You either drop it and move on in your relationship OR you drop him and move on by yourself.

Jake2008 · Sep 8, 2013, 01:31 PM

The two of you have to figure a way to sit down and hash this whole thing out. If his cheating is a constant and continuous bone of contention, with him thwarting your accusations, and him throwing anything he can think of in the mix, nothing will ever get sorted out and dealt with once and for all.

You need to know, why he cheated, and how you are supposed to learn to trust him again.

He needs to simply tell the truth, get all the cards out on the table.

Only when you have the truth will you be able to come to some sort of commitment for the future, without the past dragging everything into a miserable argument that nobody ever wins.