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    hm2390's Avatar
    hm2390 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 5, 2022, 06:07 PM
    Is he cheap or am I entitled?
    Hi!,

    I've been living with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now and we have always split the bills 50/50. I started nursing school full time a year ago and have maintained full time work to keep up with my bills.. I recently learned, however, that in one week he makes what I make in an entire month (he had a big promotion at work a while ago). When we first started dating we made roughly the same amount, him just a bit more than I. Now, with me going to school full time and working full time I feel like he should be paying more? He also tends to get me tiny gifts. For example, I got him an xbox for Christmas, he gave me a pair of 50 dollar earrings and a plastic bracelet. When I asked him to start taking on more bills so I could work a bit less, as with full time school, doing all the cooking in this house, and working full time + all the daily care of our dogs, I've burnt out multiple times over the last year of my program.. he asked me if I'm looking to live for free or something. I've always been in the mindset of we are a team and I think that if I'm in school he should be picking up a larger portion of the bills so I can focus on studying and not burning out so hard every semester. I know if the roles were reversed I would have offered that a long time ago..? Looking for opinions.

    Thank you!
    waltero's Avatar
    waltero Posts: 443, Reputation: 5
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    #2

    Jan 6, 2022, 06:09 PM
    I've been living with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now and we have always split the bills 50/50
    "I started nursing school full time a year ago."
    So with you starting School, after living together for six months or less - you were okay with said 50/50 arrangement?

    When we first started dating we made roughly the same amount, him just a bit more than I.
    50/50 split felt acceptable?

    I recently learned, however, that in one week he makes what I make in an entire month.
    Only, now we feel the pain?


    Now, with me going to school full time and working full time I feel like he should be paying more?
    Sorry, he may have gone through a million flaming hoops to get where he is.

    He also tends to get me tiny gifts.
    Where did that come from?

    When I asked him to start taking on more bills so I could work a bit less
    That's what it's really about. It's not about lack of $$$.
    It's one thing to ask - if you were struggling with $$$ (paying your bills), but it doesn't appear that you are?

    I've always been in the mindset of we are a team
    "work a bit less, as with full-time school, doing all the cooking in this house, and working full time + all the daily care of our dogs." Work a bit less???

    Focus, Focus. Don't give up. You would be working just as hard (harder) being with him as you would without him...that's life. Like a Man, all I know is Work. If I'm Not Working I'm getting ready for work, If I'm not getting ready for work I'm thinking about work. Women use to be set up on a pedestal, not having to worry about such things. Welcome to Modern feminism...The idea is that women only want 50/50 when it actually benefits them and more for them when they can.

    Don’t pay no mind to financial disparity. Disparities in other things (emotional support, chores, etc) are much more concerning.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jan 8, 2022, 11:29 AM
    A couple that cannot resolve their issues to the benefit of both through honest communications probably won't last, and that's not a bad thing despite the feelings of loss, disappointment and frustration. Sometimes we have to accept that the fun is over and change must happen so keep talking and see what happens.

    If he doesn't want to share his good fortune to help his partner then not much of a relationship is it?

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