I'm not actually sure who has broken up with who at this stage but this is how my story goes. Was with my ex for just under 6 years - some of the time I was away at Uni but always we were a very very close couple. He really adored me and would have done anything for me. Last year we moved in together for the first time and everything seemed great - I thought I had my dream life.

About 6 months ago he became weird, saying he wasn't sure about us any more and unable to give me firm reasons for his doubts, saying at one point that he wasn't sure he loved me enough - we broke up 5 months ago and it was initially him who suggested we take some time apart and then I said, look lets accept that it was over and move on - whilst it wasn't what I wanted I thought life is too short for messing about! So the next day he came to our apartment to sort out what we were going to do - I was all business, had made a list of things to sort out and kept busy attending to them - he couldn't really talk and burst into tears - he kept saying that he could not believe it was over and that he felt he had lost me forever.

I was really confused and the day ended with us saying he would move out and we would take a break for a few months. Over that few months I struggled a lot with living on my own in our place - had to stay there until the lease ran out. He did contact me online in the evenings which he says he did as he knew I was alone and it was hard. Anyway, lots of little meetings and rows happened until eventually I pushed him to tell me what was going on about two months ago - it turned out he had slept with an ex girlfriend when intoxicated just two weeks before we moved in together and he claimed that the guilt was killing him and that he knew I deserved better. He said that he never felt he would have the courage to tell me and that he knew I would be broken by it. He had a history of depression and also a lot of insecurities about whether people liked him and I knew that he had been supportive as a friend to his ex-girlfriend after her engagement had broken up.

Anyway, he said that it was a once off which he regretted every day since and that he felt it was something he couldn't keep from me forever if we had gone on to get engaged, married etc. I immediately wanted to just go to counseling and to try and work things out - he was more distant and kept saying that we needed time. We tried briefly to get back together but I could see that his heart was not in it - every time that I looked at him I could see guilt in his eyes. We have agreed to no contact and I have told him there is no hope of a future for us unless that some day he is strong enough to show me he is really sorry and has dealt with the guilt. He has told me he is sorry lots of time but when he expresses emotion I don't believe it - even when he says he is sad it all appears to be numb.

What do people think? I miss him like crazy but don't want to be a door mat. It's a very sad situation - he said the act lasted about 10 seconds before he told her no it was me he loved but he can't move past it at all.