I have a confidence problem that many others might also have. I have trouble approaching an attractive girl. What do I do?

What if the girl isn't attractive?

Just be yourself, go up, say hi, be a friend first then go from there.

Its all about the confidence. Also like Altenweg said be yourself. Why would you want to put on a false personality in order for her to get to know you? If a person does not like you for who you are then they are not for you. Also, don't try too hard. Sometimes you need to play hard to get too. You just need to be able to read the persons cues well and adjust accordingly without changing who you are.

But I can't approach her. I get very anxious. I say I'm going to do it, but I hesitate.

Being myself and talking and getting to know girls isn't my problem. I'm a good conversationalist I think.
Unless there's a context to talk to a girl, I'm largely lost.
By context I mean -- we're sitting in class, and I say "how do you find this class". There, conversation started.

Well, I think you need to work on your confidence first. The best way to do this is just socialize and meet new people. Talk to some of your girl (space) friends and ask them what they like in a man.

I know from my experience that confidence (not cockyness), humor, and dressing well help attract girls.

I would just go for it. What do you have to loose?

But I am socializing and meeting new people. So far, none of this has helped me approach a girl I don't know.

Do you know anything about her? Like, what music she likes, is she in band or sport? Do you have any friends in common? You could use any of this info. To strike up a conversation.

It depends on the situation, but basically, just go for it. It`s like taking a jump out of an airplane, but maybe not as stressing, you just go for it, you stumble, you say something stupid and she won`t be interested in you. Then you do that again and again until it becomes natural.

I know nothing about her. I could ask about her to friends, but even then -- I'm not allowed to talk about what they told me, because then it doesn't look good.
We don't have friends in common as far as I know.

I agree with you paxe; but I need to do this once before I do it a few times

Star slow and with a smile. Ask for the time for one girl, then ask for direction for another, then ask a random question... don't force yourself too much, it should come naturally and with experience. A smile will bring you a long way.

I have the same type of complex. But there are ways to get around it ;) This is what id do to get closer to her and probably score a girlfriend XD

1. Start talking to her friends
2. Then meet her and say "My names ____, nice to meet you (smile)." shake her hand that helps
3. Get into a controversial argument conversation with her about something that will give you an idea of how she thinks like abortion *a good sign for a good woman is that she wouldn't kill her own child*
4. Start talking about your outlook on people (hopefully you care about a lot of people)
5. Then get into more details about you, yourself. I tell of my morals (say love until you truly mean it, don't be a punk like the rest of the idiotic generation we're in, etc.). Good Morals are attractive.
6. Get her myspace/facebook/friendster. This will help A lot. Don't get her phone number just yet!
7. after about a week of myspace talking (about 3 hours a day probably) then ask her if she wants to hang out with you on the weekend and it will be your treat to pay for like the movie theaters or something (a date basically). Ask now for her phone number.
8. Ask her out at the end of a good day if it worked out.

How old are you, and are you in school? I suspect you are. When you see her around and get her eye, smile and say HI! A few acknowledgements will get you feeling better, and you can introduce yourself, and find out her name.

Charles, all due respect, from steps 3 onwards, your advice should only apply after you get to know someone. In general of course. Step 1 would be great, if I knew how to approach a girl to begin with. :D
I agree with 6 though. I think our generation likes myspace/facebook/email, so maybe phone number isn't the best idea -- but I have no problems asking for it (this is another story for another thread).

Talaniman, I have been working on things like stance, eye contact and posture. It has helped me a lot. To clarify -- you're saying I should just randomly say "HI!" to her and keep walking? By the way, I am in school, and I see a lot of the same people daily.

When you speak in passing you can gauge her reaction, as you build your own confidence up. After a few Hi's, you will be ready to introduce yourself if she is returning your greeting.

I believe in being yourself, and talking to see if she is comfortable, as are you, just talking, and becoming familiar with each other.

I think you might be onto something, expert :D. I'm not going to question your advice but maybe it's time to discard some of my own beliefs about this kind of thing. These beliefs seem to be holding me back and might be the source of my anxiety.

Why wouldn't she be creeped out by some random guy saying hello to her?
I'm not afraid of rejection itself, but I think I'd rather wait for a "better opportunity". These better opportunities are a figment of my imagination. I'd rather meet girls through friends, but yet I don't want to depend on friends to meet girls.
If I am unclear at any time, please let me know. I am a little confused.

Dude, rejection is always a risk, but if you never take a risk, for sure you go nowhere. It like the lottery, you can't win if you don't play.

If anybody knows anything about meeting girls, its me. I'm not saying I do it often but this is all you have to do and cheesy lines almost NEVER work.
You go up to the girl nice and smoothly at a 45 degree angle and once you are about 2 feet away you say the most powerful conversation starter with a cool smile... What is your name? Then you tell her that you have seen her around and just thought you would introduce yourself to her. Then tell her your name and ask her what she is up to and if she wants to go grab a bite... take it from there... it can be a bit scary but you'll be glad you did it... Ive been nervous many times and rejected a lot but I laugh afterwards and it makes me happy that I dared and it makes me like myself more for it... lol

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ds-409075.html

Seems you have a lot of posts about getting females.

Hello Way,


No, you are not the only one who feels this way... Both guys and girls go through this. Just remember when you go up to her at that "45 degree angle" haha that you remain calm. Just be yourself. Think of something funny to say.

People like people who are real. So be yourself and what ever is meant to be will be. Good luck my friend.

As I pointed out in the thread (just now); I want to be just friends with that girl. She obviously isn't interested in more -- but I didn't think she would be. Basically being more was never really an option. Be that as it may, I still have trouble approaching girls I don't know.