I have no feeling for my boyfriend anymore
Asked Apr 19, 2013, 05:50 PM
Let me be clear, I love my boyfriend. I can describe that as a love than forms from us being together for so long. But I have no feelings for him anymore.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for the past year and five months. I had recently broken up with my ex with who I had had year and a half relationship with when began dating my current boyfriend.
Things moved very fast for me and my boyfriend. Out of convince and money issues he moved into my apartment with me only a month after we started dating. I was the happiest girl in the world for the first six months. He made me so happy(: He was my everything.He called me the perfect girlfriend and bragged about me to his family and friends. I WAS the perfect girl friend... in my eyes. I did everything for him that I could. I would go out of my way to make him happy... and in return it made me happy. But once six months came... everything changed (for me). I'm not sure what triggered it. His needs(attention, sex, errands, some one to talk to etc... ) started to irritate me rather than make me want to help him out. I became really unhappy and started to distance myself from him.
Since then I have tried to break up with him. I don't like to drag things like this out. In my eyes it easier to break up than to make it more painful down the road. I'll bring up the conversation and somehow he always talks me into staying. I have told him EXACTLY how I feel or don't feel towards him. He has changed so much to try to make me happy but still... I have no feelings for him.
It's gotten to the point to where I don't cover up how I feel. If he's irritating me I let him know. If I'm in a bad mood I don't put on my happy face. If I'm uninterested I'll find something that interests me. I'm very honest with him. I don't want to lead him on. He doesn't make me happy and in return I don't make him happy. I've even told him "Were both unhappy! Why don't we just end it"? I don't know if he's in denial but he seems oblivious to what I have to say.
Sex with him just makes me feel dirty. I don't want it. I used to never tell him no when he wanted it and now it seems that I only do it to shut him up. What's wrong with me? I don't think I have high demands for a boyfriend. He tries so hard and yet it's still doesn't make me feel anything towards him. It tears me apart every day. I feel like a monster at times. I can be completely honest with him about how I don't feel happy with him. He just doesn't get it. I don't want to leave him because he's so happy with me. I just wish I could be happy with him... but I can't. There's something wrong with me. He used to be all that I needed but now it's like he's the one thing I need to get rid of. I just want to feel those feelings that I used to feel for him back. I'd do anything for it. It was the happiest six months of my life.
The way things are right now (to sum it all up) is that we're BOTH just waiting for ME to fall back in love with him. But I don't even think it's possible. Our relationship wheals are turning but we're going no where.
What do I do? I'm not at the same level of our relationship that he his. He's fallen more in love with me as time goes on where as for me I've fallen more out of love with him. I really need some advise. I'm so confused.