Since I was about 8 years old I have always been bullied for being bigger than all the other kids, I was never a fake popular person, I was always the quiet one who only came out her shell when I was with my friends.
Being bullied about the way I look destroyed me completely, I am now 16 and I have lost a lot of weight and look better but I still have no confidence in myself, I mean yeah I get boys saying how pretty I am etc but I don't see that and I want to see what there seeing, I just feel like I have been bullied into hating myself and this makes me have no confidence inmyself, I mean I know this sounds stupid but I have been asked to do a shift at a pub because there is a funeral going on, and al I can think of is that everything and anything I will do will be wrong, and that I won't be able to talk to anyone or be any good because I'm just so shy with new people and I just have no confidence and I hate myself for it, I feel like I'm not going to get anywhere in life! I'm such a mess at times :( :(

You have low self esteem. You need to get to know yourself better.Talk to friends and family about how they see you. Ask them what qualities you have that maybe you don't see yourself. If you can learn to strengthen the best qualities you have, the negative qualities will start to not be so dominant or important to you. You can also try to be helpful to others, this will help you feel better about yourself. Learn to laugh at yourself because no one is perfect. When you are praised or complimented, learn to accept it and move on. Just say thank you. And last, try to learn to think positive. If you want to be successful at something then you have to think success. Try to love yourself and believe you are worthy and you will become much more confident and productive.

You are not a mess at all. You are a normal young lady, well grounded, but you have defined yourself by past problems that you are unable to see where you have overcome many obstacles to be who you are, which is quite extraordinary in itself.

Maybe its your pessimism in others that motivated you before, but you have no need to be pessimistic now, as you have accomplished so much on your own, and need to acknowledge it to yourself by being good to yourself.

Reward your journey by just keep being who you are and taking things, situations, and events as an opportunity to move even farther forward. Frankly I am more impressed by your progress, than your seeming lack of confidence, and think its more you staying humble, and open minded, than a true lack of confidence, so stop being so hard on yourself.

I think you are growing nicely, just have a ways to go, but you have the rest of your life to get where you want to go, and be who you want to be. Recognize you have made a great start for yourself, and keep your own path, at your own pace.

So far, so good.

Thank you guys,
I know where your both coming from its just that bit from being like this then suddenly thinking I can do this and that, its just that step I find hard :/
I will get there eventully once I get older and think down abit and start to look better, but thank you! :)

Tal is right (had to spread the rep). You have done really well. Continue everything you are doing to feel better about yourself. I think girls blossom at different ages, and you have a lot to look forward to now. It takes a while to change your self-image. The easiest way to look better immediately is to smile.

I want to offer a couple of suggestions. Do you exercise? That alone will have a huge effect on your feelings of well-being and your appearance. I think one of the great exercises is Pilates. It builds your core, lengthens your muscles, and for me has a very calming effect at the same time. Other great exercises are to walk, run, or cycle - especially if you do these outdoors. They give you a lot of time to think but also they are calming, especially if you have a pretty environment to enjoy. A lot of what you are feeling is anxiety, and exercise reduces anxiety.

I subscribe to a free e-mail newsletter called RealAge (Dr. Oz, if you have heard of him) that gives all kinds of tips on eating and exercising. They are really common sense suggestions, not hard to follow at all. You might look into that. It comes out several times a week, and that by itself makes it a good reminder to take good care of yourself.

A good way to feel good about yourself is to do volunteer work. It also helps you to see the bigger picture and not focus too much on yourself and your perceived faults. By the way, we can all be critical of ourselves. It's how you handle those feelings that is important. Instead of being hard on yourself, do something about it. :)

The biggest thing I try to do is to do the best I can, whether it be school, work, being a good person or friend - the list goes on. That is a confidence builder, especially when people notice and comment on it - and they will. If you can start thinking of the future, setting goals for what you want and then working to achieve them, you will be far ahead of other girls your age. I was a little shy also; I'm still on the quiet side. That didn't stop me, though. I figured out what I wanted and I went for it. As you start to accomplish things, you start to feel better about yourself, and you want to do more and more. Good luck.

Yeah I know I don't think I have quite blossemed yet, hopfully I will by the time I'm 18 lol, would have slimmed down had longer hair and just grown up more (: I try to smile as much as I can, but sometimes I just don't want too aha!
Yeah I used to do a lot of exercise I did trampolining everyweek was training but I have now quit, I was going to join a gym but I just don't have the money or time, because I'm always at college, doing college work, or working, or spending time with the family, I could squeez it in but I just don't have the money when I get £20 a week through either babysitting or working a shift at the pub, which I'm also saving for driving!
& yeah that's true and to be honest I give out so much advise to my friends and they take it and there probs get fixed, I wish I could take my own advise but I won't! It annoys me so much sometimes lol, some days I will be like yeah I don't care what people think but that's like 1 out of 50 days I would be like that lol,

I know girls that blossomed in their 20's Just be patient. If you want to make it happen and you work at making it happen, it will happen. I know you've heard this before, but it's really more important what is on the inside. The fact that you are able to help your friends is great. They look up to you. You should be proud of that.

You don't need money to exercise. It doesn't cost anything to walk or run, except a decent pair of shoes. I do Pilates in my home. No equipment is needed. I bet you could borrow tapes from the library to try it and see if you like it. There are even free sites online to learn the methods.

Are you doing your best in school? That was where I got a lot of my confidence. I think you will find that with more knowledge, experience, and in time your shyness will decrease. I am quiet, but I feel very confident speaking to new people or even in front of groups because I feel confident in what I am saying.

You can start by getting rid of those negative thoughts. I know what I would do - maybe it will work for you. I'd make a list (I make lists all the time :) ) of the things I want to improve, and I'd add how I can go about doing it. Don't try to do them all at once as you'll get overwhelmed. Just start with one thing and work on that. Try it. What do you have to lose?

Yeah the inside is important but when it comes to guys around my age, if your not skinny fake and wear too much make up, there not instrested what's on the inside because they know your not easy which is so annoying in a way aha.
& yeah true I got a wii fit which does help because I do jogs on there areobics, loads of stuff its just I don't have much time, I mean I walk so much to get to college and back and I'm always up on my feet when I'm working, I eat healthy so another thing is I don't understand why my weight isn't dropping off! It does but really slowley! :/
& yeah I'm doing my best in college, its really hard work which stresses me out, but I do try because I love it. I've always been the one in the group who would come out with stupid little comments being serious that made everyone else laugh, but that's just me and that's part of my personality, maybe ill try that but I know what I want to change its always in my head, losing weight, growing up, getting older, doing well at college and be able to be myself wherever or whoever I'm with, so I don't need to write a list when that list is in my head but thank you