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    martilazaro's Avatar
    martilazaro Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 31, 2010, 07:17 AM
    I have a girlfriend of 1yr and 7months, and she doesn't listen.
    I have a girlfriend, of 1yr and 7months now. And now we are away from each other. My problem is she always drink with her friends often, and I already consulted her about this not to drink... but she still doing it. Do I have to break up with her or not? She just ignores me whatever I say. She said she love me, but why she's doing it, not listening to me, sometimes she lies to me.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #2

    Jul 31, 2010, 07:34 AM

    If you know she lies to you, why do you want to be with her?

    You may not like that she drinks with her friends, but that is her choice. You have expressed that you don't want her to, she continues to do so, so now you have to decide if this is important enough to end the relationship over.

    Are you more concerned about her drinking or that she didn't do what you told her to do? Being away from each other can make relationships more difficult, communication becomes even more important... maybe talk about it some more, share your concerns, listen to her response, then decide if you want to continue the relationship with what she tells you and does.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jul 31, 2010, 12:10 PM

    If you want a female who doesn't drink, and obeys you, then yes, you better end it with her.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #4

    Jul 31, 2010, 02:33 PM

    You can't change her. You might try, but you can't. I would end it and move on.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
    		  
    #5

    Aug 1, 2010, 06:57 AM
    You 'consult' with your girlfriend? You don't like it when 'she doesn't listen' or agree with you? And you wonder why she lies?

    Try talking instead of 'consulting'. Try listening instead of making judgments. Try accepting that which you cannot change- in any person.

    After that, if you are still unhappy that in your opinion, she drinks too much, and you cannot stop her because she chooses not to stop that particular activity, then it is no longer a fault of hers, it is a fault to you. It is only, and exclusively, your call as to whether or not you wish to remain in the relationship.

    Expecting her to change because you want her to, and she chooses not to, will not, in my opinion, make for a good start to a long term relationship.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #6

    Aug 1, 2010, 11:37 AM

    Maybe she doesn't like what you're saying.
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