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shubham555 · Jan 10, 2018, 11:31 PM

I have backup my friends chat with his girlfriend. And he found out that in my phone. I explained to him that I have taken that to learn about relationships as I'm bad at relationships and shy to ask him. He said it's OK.But I'm feeling guilty. What to do now?

Alty · Jan 11, 2018, 12:34 AM

What do you mean? You "backup my friends chat with his girlfriend". Does that mean you went through his phone and sent his chats to your phone? I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean at all.

If he said it's OK, let it go and hope that he really means it. Learn from your mistake and don't make that mistake again.

shubham555 · Jan 11, 2018, 12:39 AM

Yes you get it right. I went through his phone and send his chat to my phone.

Alty · Jan 11, 2018, 12:42 AM

Yikes, OK, that's a complete abuse of trust. It was very nice of him to forgive you, I don't think I'd be that forgiving, someone going through my phone, looking at and reading private messages between me and my significant other, and then going one step further and sending those messages to their own phone? Why would you do that? You had to know that it wasn't OK.

Like I already said, he said he forgives you, so take him at his word and learn from your mistake.

shubham555 · Jan 11, 2018, 12:55 AM

Yeah but I'm feeling very guilty and awkward to face him now.

Alty · Jan 11, 2018, 12:59 AM

Feeling guilty is a good thing, because you have a lot to feel guilty about. But, if he forgives you and he still wants to be your friend, then let it go. Being awkward around him because you did something wrong, is punishing him, and he didn't do anything wrong and doesn't deserve it.

You apologized, he accepted your apology, so feel guilty on your own time, but don't let your friendship suffer because of how you're feeling. If he wants to end the friendship, then that's another story, but if he's truly OK, then you owe it to him to let it go.

shubham555 · Jan 11, 2018, 01:02 AM

Thank you so much

Alty · Jan 11, 2018, 01:03 AM

You're welcome.

shubham555 · Jan 11, 2018, 02:01 AM

Maybe he said it's okay because I already know everything. He told me everything that happened on date.he uses my bike to date her. I was always nearby when he is going on date.
And I have not take backup of any media or photos of his girlfriend, he knows that. There was no that private messages on chat.Actually his phones backup is in my computer.
I just wanted to know that how he started with her, I don't know anything about dating and other stuff, I'm just idiot on this. Therefore I did that mistake.

shubham555 · Jan 11, 2018, 02:07 AM

Even he named me santa Claus because I have tought him investing in stocks and crypto currency that makes him good profit. He is always saying you are my santa Claus.
I don't know why I'm writing this... Maybe in frustration... help me out in this situation

joypulv · Jan 11, 2018, 04:45 AM

I agree with the others.
Now onward - it's time that you got help from him about dating. Clearly you are NOT an idiot, and clearly you have helped him financially. And you even let him borrow your bike!
So he needs to reciprocate.
His girlfriend can arrange some double dates, short ones that both you and the blind date can get out of easily if you don't click.
And he can give you advice, too.
We can too, LOL.

tickle · Jan 11, 2018, 05:47 AM

Originally Posted by shubham555

Even he named me santa Claus because I have tought him investing in stocks and crypto currency that makes him good profit. He is always saying you are my santa Claus.
I don't know why I'm writing this... Maybe in frustration... help me out in this situation

By going into his phone, reading his messages and compounding that gross invasion of someone's privacy, I would have to say that if you do this with your best friend, you have probably done similar things to other people. So, getting down to basics, shubham, I would not call this betraying his trust, but a perfect awful crime against him. You have underlying issues of jelousy against him because of his relationship. You have a lot to overcome and I don't think you will find guidance here but in retrospect, possibly some serious counselling to bring you issues to the surface and in the meantime stay away from your "best friend" and give him a break.

Alty and Joy have been very kind to you. I, however, see you in a different light.

talaniman · Jan 11, 2018, 10:12 AM

Acknowledge your gratitude for having such an understanding friend and showing proper some respect by asking him your questions instead of invading his privacy. By doing better in your words, actions and showing respect, your guilt and shame will fade in time.

There are no instant results just positive honest respectful attitude and actions. See those feelings as acknowledging you have wronged another and do better.

shubham555 · Jan 11, 2018, 11:43 AM

Thank you so much joy

Thank you so much tickle

Thank you so much talaniman

Alty · Jan 11, 2018, 03:41 PM

I received your PM asking me to quickly come and give more advice. I gave you the best advice I could, I have nothing further to add. Either take my advice, or leave it, that's up to you. As for PMing me to come quickly and post more on your thread, I have a life, a family, and I do occasionally sleep as well, so I can't be here 24/7 to continue posting the same advice I already gave you.

Good luck to you.

shubham555 · Jan 11, 2018, 05:21 PM

Thank you and sorry Alty