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cutie510 · Sep 26, 2010, 12:41 PM

I've been talking to this guy for about a two months and he hella seemed like he really liked me and all, I mean he even said he wants to later on marry me. Even though we only been talking for like two months. Then we have sex and we had a fight as well about something so stupid and he stops hanging out with me and calling. And says we are not together just taking it slow now, he also told me he loves me first then I did later, he still gets defensive when I hang out with other guys, I just don't get him? Does he like me or playing games on me? Why do guys do this?

Homegirl 50 · Sep 26, 2010, 12:48 PM

He got in your pants and wants to keep doing it on his terms. That is all there is.
Leave him alone. He's not worth it.

docjay · Sep 26, 2010, 01:04 PM

That sounds exactly like me, the guy. Well, the fact is he probably does loves you if he said he'd marry you.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 26, 2010, 01:08 PM

This guy does not love you. He said he wants to later on marry you, what the heck does that mean? I'm sure he said it before the sex.
How old are you two?

Just Looking · Sep 26, 2010, 02:36 PM

I agree with Homegirl. He doesn't even know you well enough to know if he loves you, let alone if he wants to marry you. He wanted to have sex with you, and once he got that you two conveniently had a fight.

You sound pretty young. Use this as a learning experience and don't fall for a guy's tricks. Take time to get to know them and let them get to know you.

talaniman · Sep 26, 2010, 07:10 PM

he even said he wants to later on marry me. even though we only been talking for like two months. then we have sex and we had a fight as well about something soo stupid and he stops hanging out with me and calling.

Sorry you fell for the oldest line in the book, so he could get what he really wanted, and leave. O guess you have learned a valuable lesson for the future the hard way.

Jake2008 · Sep 26, 2010, 09:34 PM

You have been had, because of one simple fact. You did not know this person before you became intimate with him. Because of that, it becomes sometimes impossible to go back in time, and start with a relationship. And what is a relationship? That is getting to know somebody. Who they are, what type of person they are, their history, their day to day lives, their families, friends. Dating for a long period of time; learning about them, getting to know them when they are happy, angry, sad. What makes them tick.

So, what are you left with now? An empty connection, because you chose to jump all the foregoing, and hop instead, in the sack for a quick romp. Not much to build a relationship on.

Next time, start a the beginning, and work your way through getting to know someone, before you sleep with them. Had you done that, you would have realized that he was only after a superficial relationship which likely wouldn't have involved more than sex.

cutie510 · Sep 27, 2010, 12:01 PM

I'm 19 stupid, yeah I just don't any better?yeah I just don't get why he sometimes comes around and gets jealous of guys I talk with. I'm done with this dude he had it good with me. I'm new to the whole trying to find a serious realationship:/

cutie510 · Sep 27, 2010, 12:04 PM

I'm tired of the flings and friends with benefits. I want a real realationship with someone and him telling me that he wants to marry me and have kids I fell for it.

cutie510 · Sep 27, 2010, 12:07 PM

Yeah I'm young stupid 19 so never been in a real serious realationship:/

Homegirl 50 · Sep 27, 2010, 12:49 PM

Now you know not to fall for that line.
If you want a relationship, take the time to get to know the person, let them get to know you. Sex does not make a relationship, it does not build one. Getting to know one another, building trust, that is where it starts.
Any one who wants to jump your bones before he even knows you, just wants to jump your bones.

Jake2008 · Sep 27, 2010, 01:26 PM

Don't be too hard on yourself. Love, falling in love, being in love, wanting love- are all things that can trick us, despite the obvious. I don't think I know a single person who hasn't been hurt, by love.

The plus side is, you're a smart cookie, and you can see now, what went wrong, and why. Adding that to your repertoire, will only make you better prepared the next time around.

Take good care of yourself.

Just Looking · Sep 27, 2010, 01:29 PM

Jake is right. We've all made mistakes, and we all look back and wonder how we could have been so blind. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes, and not beat yourself down when you make them. You are young and have a lot to learn, but also a lot of time to learn.

cutie510 · Sep 27, 2010, 06:52 PM

Thanks for the advice and not thinking I'm a slut, the reason why I posted this because I don't have good enough friends to support me:/

cutie510 · Sep 27, 2010, 06:54 PM

Thanks for the advice gurl:)