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    The_Brit_Girl's Avatar
    The_Brit_Girl Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 22, 2012, 06:52 PM
    The guy I like is hung up on his ex
    There is this guy I met on an online dating website. Great, smart guy and by the second date we pretty much went the whole way. I like him a lot and yet I know he is still hung up on his ex. Theirs was a three year long relationship which was rocky and chaotic and from what he has told me I don't think they parted ways because they wanted to, rather they had to. He still tells me he likes me, BUT he is still hopelessly in love with his ex and can never fall in love the same way again. We have a great time when we are together and enjoy each other's company. Last week I asked him point blank if he is interested in getting into something with me and all he could say was he likes me but he doesn't know. Now I know you guys will probably tell me it's best I move on and I have tried but it doesn't seem to happen. I don't know what to do...
    indya's Avatar
    indya Posts: 357, Reputation: 58
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Feb 22, 2012, 09:37 PM
    How long has it been since he broke up with his ex and began dating you? Looks like he's using you to fill the emotional gap left behind by this ex of his.

    Are you ready to be used as an emotional filler? Yes here we would say to move on. Moving on is always tough. But it is much better than being dissatisfied, used, unhappy, isn't it?
    The_Brit_Girl's Avatar
    The_Brit_Girl Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Feb 22, 2012, 11:03 PM
    Hey! Thanks for replying. I'm so confused right now. It's going to be a year in march since he broke up with her. He dated a girl before me which he said he could never make to work out because of the girl he is in love with.
    I really like him. I know I want to make it work. I'm not sure how he feels about that. Shouldn't I at least try and see if this has a future?
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #4

    Feb 23, 2012, 12:15 AM
    Let him go, no need to be the rebound.
    scipioafricanus's Avatar
    scipioafricanus Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Feb 24, 2012, 12:26 AM
    Very Simple. You are in a rebound relationship, it is like a volcano.. Volatile and unpredictable. He is still in the first phase of the rebound, you are not going to like what I'm going to say next... In the first phase dating is primarily about a continuation of set feelings and emotions from the past relationship. Now they seem real to you because your experiencing it live, to him he is recreating the old with a new person. What that means is that he is mealy continuing what he has known for 3 years. He probably likes you very much but he is not ready to let go of the three year emotional investment. Regardless of how it ended. In the first phase there is a possibility that they might be still sleeping together.

    Now the only advice I leave you is that he needs time. Time you might not have if your emotionally in overdrive. If you want him to stick around, create the time. Hope it helps.



    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,187, Reputation: 10852
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    #6

    Feb 25, 2012, 09:53 PM
    There is no future with a guy who is still in the past. That leaves you with a sex buddy to spend time with. Have fun while it lasts for what it is, or dump him and try someone else on line. Why get hurt over a friend with benefits situation??

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