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    jeffatl's Avatar
    jeffatl Posts: 489, Reputation: 83
    Full Member
     
    #1

    Apr 11, 2008, 12:29 AM
    Got a CRAZY text tonight..
    So I got a text tonight from the girl I have been in love with for about 3 years that said "I think I am in love with you. I know this sounds stupid, but I can't stop thinking about you and I just want you to know that I think about you everyday and miss you".

    I didn't respond to this because I don't know if she was just drunk, or whatever. Seriously thought, I have been in love with this girl for about 5 years now, and she knows it. She has been real distant for the last few weeks, and I just took that as I need to back off... now I have no idea what to do.

    Lately I have been REALLY stupid with women and lose interest the moment I get any tyoe of "I like you too" from them so, I am SUPER afraid of this response.

    The thing you have to know about her and I is, we flirt constantly and I know she really does care for me. The thing is, her brother is mt BEST FRIEND... and she has a "boyfriend" that I am close to as well.

    I really don't know what to do because I really don't want to pas up being with her if that is possible. If anything, I really feel the need to just tell her how I feel about her... regardless of the outcome. I think I just need to know, or take the chance of being shot down.

    I have such an amazing relationship with her brother, but I am fairly sure he knows that I really care for his sister, and wouldn't care if things worked out in the long run.

    The thing is, I am really great frinds with her as well and I don't want that to change... but I also think that is what makes our relationship so amazing!

    A MAJOR part of this is... she lives in another town, about 50 miles away from me that is a BIG college town, and I don't want to have that kind of relationship with her... holding her from having a great time worring about what she is doing, or missing me.

    I have made MANY posts about this girl before, but things seem to be more crazy than ever because I really do think she feels the same way as I do.

    Should I come clean to her "in full" and just know for sure, or let it go?

    I am so tired of not knowing, and really think... NO... KNOW I love her, and need to come clean once and for all.

    If things don't work out, at least I KNOW... you know?
    2008chrissy's Avatar
    2008chrissy Posts: 131, Reputation: 18
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    #2

    Apr 11, 2008, 01:21 AM
    Jeffatl - The brother wouldn't be my worry, it's the "boyfriend" she already has... Since she is in a relationship you need to choose your words wisely, and respect her relationship.

    That said - I would definitely address it, but not over text messaging. Either call her or meet her for coffee. Casually ask about the text she sent you (in case she was drunk as you said, I know you don't want to look foolish).

    You said : A MAJOR part of this is...she lives in another town, about 50 miles away from me that is a BIG college town, and I don't want to have that kind of relationship with her...holding her from having a great time worring about what she is doing, or missing me.

    Listen, if you have these strong feelings for this girl then you should tell her how you feel. I'm sure she already knows anyway. Women usually do. But if you're worried about holding her back, etc then maybe the problem lies within you. It seems like a little self esteem issue, like you are holding yourself back. YOU wouldn't be holding her back or making her miss you. You can't make anyone feel a certain way unless they choose to feel that way. Understand?
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
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    #3

    Apr 11, 2008, 01:49 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by 2008chrissy
    Jeffatl - The brother wouldn't be my worry, it's the "boyfriend" she already has... Since she is in a relationship you need to choose your words wisely, and respect her relationship.

    That said - I would definately address it, but not over text messaging. Either call her or meet her for coffee. Casually ask about the text she sent you (in case she was drunk as you said, I know you don't want to look foolish).

    you said : A MAJOR part of this is...she lives in another town, about 50 miles away from me that is a BIG college town, and I don't want to have that kind of relationship with her...holding her from having a great time worring about what she is doing, or missing me.

    Listen, if you have these strong feelings for this girl then you should tell her how you feel. I'm sure she already knows anyways. Women usually do. But if you're worried about holding her back, etc then maybe the problem lies within you. It seems like a little self esteem issue, like you are holding yourself back. YOU wouldn't be holding her back or making her miss you. You can't make anyone feel a certain way unless they choose to feel that way. Understand?
    I agree with most of what you said Chrissy, however, she txt'd him! Drunk is not an excuse, and often people (especially girls) say what they are too afraid to say when they are sober. There aren't the same inhibitions, and it probably just gave her the nerve to txt him and say that. He should respond, in person, and talk about the content of the txt. He shouldn't feel foolish about it... he was minding his own business and she sent the message.

    Also, it is HER job to respect HER relationship. Although the other guy should be respected, SHE is the one that threw that ball over the fence. Of course I don't know her, but I would be a little leary and careful with a girl who would txt another guy while still in a relationship, to say that she loves HIM! It doesn't say a whole lot about her level of commitement.

    Be careful Jeff!
    lmnotok's Avatar
    lmnotok Posts: 217, Reputation: 37
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    #4

    Apr 11, 2008, 01:53 AM
    Go ahead bro, life is short, don't let the chance go by...
    ihatewestseneca's Avatar
    ihatewestseneca Posts: 325, Reputation: 67
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    #5

    Apr 11, 2008, 02:20 AM
    Don't be "that guy" if she would tell you this when she's in a relationship, why wouldn't she say it to someone else if she's with you... this opportunity would be gold if it wasn't for that darn boyfriend... try to think about this logically, as you already know how you feel. I agree with starby that you should meet face to face and talk about it. Then go from there, don't agree to anything when you talk to her, just tell her you need to think about it.
    121006's Avatar
    121006 Posts: 8, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #6

    Apr 11, 2008, 02:30 AM
    This is a tricky situation. If you were to start a relationship with her and it ended, everyone involved would see you as selfish. So if you're going to pursue anything, you better be sure that you're going to marry her.

    Good luck!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Apr 11, 2008, 11:44 AM
    Not her again? Oh, NO! NO! NO! NO!
    playajeff25's Avatar
    playajeff25 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Apr 11, 2008, 09:41 PM
    Look bro you should always be confident either if she mean it or if she doesn't, just admit that you have been in love with her, otherwise she's going to think that you're a and she's going to look for another guy, since girls love guys that are always confident even if they get rejected... just go for it
    jeffatl's Avatar
    jeffatl Posts: 489, Reputation: 83
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    #9

    Apr 11, 2008, 11:46 PM
    I pretty much agree with all of you here... even you talin. This girl has given me sooo many problems it is insane, but I love her... I know I do. Her "boyfriend" is a complete , he treats her like crap, and she just goes back to him for comfort.

    I am currently dating a few girls myself, but I would drop all of that to go after her IF I knew she was serious. I am just all over the place right now, and I want something SOLID for once in a LONG LONG time.

    One of the girls I am seeing is really freaking me out. She is getting WAY too attached WAY too soon. I like her, but it really is more of a friend thing than anything. I really think I need to take a step back from this situation before I do anything with anyone else.

    I don't want to hurt anyone, but I know I am going to be the "bad guy" here.

    But back to the situation at hand.

    I really don't know what to do, but I need to do something. I can't keep letting this girl come and go messing up my emotions every other month or so. All of you have helped a ton, and I will really think about ALL of your advice.

    THANKS!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Apr 12, 2008, 07:51 AM
    She is out of bounds, and the last thing you need, is to be a rebound. Keep dating around, and have fun. You'll just have to cope with your feelings for her for now.

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