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    benhurt's Avatar
    benhurt Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 2, 2012, 07:44 AM
    Is it good to know specifics of your partners infidelity?
    My fiancé/girlfriend of 8 years has been with other men and women behind my back. I always had a feeling of her infidelity but my love and complete trust for her covered my mind and eyes to the obvious.

    It is now been confirmed that one of the kids may or may not be mine, we have talked about the situation and came to the conclusion that she needs some professional help which I agree with because the infidelity has lasted up until the 21st of this month (crazy right?) we plan to leave the state but I believe that talking about it to me will help her open up to a therapist of some sort! My question is, is it good to know the specifics of your partners infidelity?? It may sound weird but I feel that this will help me overcome this horrific situation.
    trulytrying's Avatar
    trulytrying Posts: 122, Reputation: 6
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    #2

    Jun 2, 2012, 09:04 AM
    My heart goes out to you in this. It's very sad. To answer your question about learning the "specifics"... I understand the desire to have all the details (even if terribly painful)--so you can let your imagination rest and just deal with the realities... but honestly, I don't think you're going to get the whole truth... maybe bits and pieces~but I really doubt you'll get the whole story. She's been at this a long time. Overcoming being betrayed is hard work--and you might do well to talk with someone (a counselor or therapist) about it for your own sake. I don't understand your willingness to stay with her--but that's just me. Re: Moving your family--she's still going to be the same her in one location or another--moving isn't necessarily a permanent solution to her habit of infidelity. Again--my heart goes out to you and I wish you the best.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jun 2, 2012, 01:23 PM
    Most people who get specifics become haunted by the images they invoke. Be careful what you ask for. If she goes to a therapist, consult with him on this matter. Or your own therapist.

    Is infidelity the reason you are moving?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Jun 3, 2012, 08:25 AM
    I'm an investigator - I'd be very careful how you proceed. Are the visions when you don't know the facts better or worse than the visions when you DO know the facts.

    Moving out of State is not going to solve (or, possibly, end) the "cheating" problem.

    Have you considered a therapist for you?
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