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Experanza19 · May 24, 2012, 09:57 AM

I've been with my Fiancé for 7 years, we got together when we were teens and in the beginning of our relationship it was really rocky. He cheated and so did I because I felt betrayed. But now we are at a better place, and with some time and maturing we have decided we really do love each other and want to be with each other. We've been in a good place for the last couple years and have been happier than ever.

After initially meeting him I made friends with my now best friend. She was there when I found out he had cheated and was there for me during the "downs" in my relationship. Now the issue is every time we fight she brings back the fact that I'm still with him and throws it in my face. She not only says disrepectful things about him, but more importantly, she demeans me for still being with him.

Recently me and her got in an explosive fight and she had really went in on me and him. Previously when she would say things about him he would just shrug it off and state "that's your friend not mine" or "I'm sorry I ever did anything to give her a reason to talk about be". This is the first time my boyfriend has commented on the way she spoke about him. He got upset at the fact his name always gets dragged in our arguments.

I love them both but both of them only see the times the other is hurting me and I don't know how to balance the two.

Help! Will I be able to make this work or will I have to let one go?

C0bra_M3nace · May 24, 2012, 10:25 AM

Your trying to mix bleach and vinegar with these two and hoping it doesn't make a toxic gas. You need to sit down with your friend, tell her how you feel, tell her how he feels, tell her what you want her to stop doing, and if she can't respect that, she can no longer be in your life. Plain and simple.

You seem happy with your fiancé, is why I don't suggest ridding of him. These two, mixed together are toxic, very much like bleach and vinegar, not only for your relationship, but your friendship.

talaniman · May 24, 2012, 08:49 PM

You and your best friend don't sound like good friends to me, and it seems like all they know of each other is when the other argues and hurts you. That's not going to work. Maybe you need better coping skills or ways to vent and handle yourself, or ot be so emotionally needy of a sympathetic shoulder to cry on.

Am I right to assume that's what all this is about, and the arguments with your friend are when you are hurt by the boyfriend? If not, please correct me or let it be know WHY you argue with your best friend. Kind of unusual to me.

Homegirl 50 · May 24, 2012, 09:12 PM

Put your friend in her place and tell her she can feel what she wants but you don't want to hear it and you will not allow her to disrespect him.