Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 7 months now, but known each other for more than a year. He is amazing in every way, and he treats me so well.I am so happy to be with him and could not ask for more.Speaking of happiness, I come with a pretty clean past, however he does not. He told me everything about his life in the past and he is a changed person now however it still bothers me at times. He used to drink a lot and do drugs and he has not done anything for three years now, which is amzing. What bothers me is the fact that he was with a married female for almost two years now( he told me this)and it was an off and on relationship. They were planning all kinds of things for her to leave her husband. Two years ago she called him telling him that she is pregnant. Of course my boyfriend asked if it was his and she said" I am 95% sure its not yours" After that situation they ended it. She told him she can't do this anymore and she has to stay with her husband and he agreed. They have not spoken since. My boyfriend still does not know if that child is his and he does not want to know. He is not proud of his past and he could care less about the kid. He keeps telling me that the kid is better of with his family now. Yeah sometimes he wonders, but at the end of the day he does not care. I trust my boyfriend completely but it worries me. I know he is done with his past and he is a better person now and he is amazing but his past bothers me and I don't know what to do?? ANy sugestions.. THank you in advance

You have it great it seems, why would you want to worry about his past? The only reason he told you this, is because he trust and loves you.

My ex, once told me something that I had trouble with - and it nearly destroyed our relationship, because of me focusing too much on the past.. if I were you, I'd get those thoughts out of my head as fast as they came in.

As you get to know a partner better over time, the challenge will always be how you handle your feelings for him. What, did you think the perfect image you had was going to last forever. That seldom happens, and once a clearer picture emerges you will have to balance feelings with facts, and temper your own fear so you don't get so carried, and act or think impulsively, or get so distracted by your own feelings, you fail to pay attention to what he is about now.

Life is mostly about how you manage your own feelings to be honest. I can understand how you could be thrown off by what he has done in the past, but the question is how you handle this, and any future facts you come to learn. I think reality is setting in, and a truer picture of you both will emerge, as the warm fuzzies, perfect image we paint our partners with gets replaced by reality.

Now you know more, be careful how you deal with it. If you dwell on the past, it will bite you, but you can't ignore it either. The last place to air those concerns, or bring it up, and throw it at your partner as a weapon, is during stressful times or disagreements. That's a disaster, but for now, take his confession as a sign of honesty, and trust, and not a warning of what he is capable of.

The first few years of any relationship is about learning, and starting to build communications, and its easy for partners to get overwhelmed, and distracted by new knowledge especially, if you are not use to the things that they have done, or have experienced yourself, or would never do.

Its best to step back, keep your wits about you, and see if what they say, and do NOW, match up! In this way you can deal with your OWN fears, stay rational, and be fair to your partner. That goes a long way in establishing trust, and keep these new learning experiences in proper perspective, and keep it from being just about YOU, and YOUR feelings.

I mean why take what he did before he knew you personally, and be distracted from paying attention to what he does NOW! With you?

By focusing on the past, you hinder the amazing future you have in front of both of u. :) It's easy to say, and tough to do. But you have to keep hammering this into your head till you get it. You mentioned that he loves u, and he even trusts you enough to tell you all of these. He told you about his past as he wants to progress in the relationship with u. He wants no secrets. And he wants you to know how much he loves you so. It is like telling you "I was so bad in the past. But that is all past now, and I love just u", it is a form of reassurance. So it would be a letdown if you actually let these affect your relationship. Trust him, focus on what you have. :) If the relationship were to go wrong, it will, you don't want to have a part to play in it. ;)