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    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
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    #1

    Dec 17, 2013, 06:20 PM
    Girlfriend wants to join the army,
    My girlfriend has previously mentioned joining the army. She lied to me 'supposedly' to stop me from being upset. This will mean she will be gone (England) for the best of four years. I have said I would not stick around for her if she were to join as the general consensus is she would not be able to see me ever if at all. She said however if I had told her I would not have broken up with her if she joined she wouldn't leave me.

    I think that is unreasonable? I am totally in love. We spend every day together (yes unhealthy) so I think its reasonable to be very upset if the girlfriend you thought might be ready to spend her life with you decides to up and leave. I'm really not sure how to deal with my girlfriend right now and whether to finish things with her (she has an interview very soon which she will pass) or to carry on and hope she changes her mind? The worst thing is we both have a holiday booked together in 4 months cost in over $1000.

    I don't want to lose her as she has become my life, but I don't want to up and leave the girl I love.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Dec 17, 2013, 08:42 PM
    Oh calm down and be cool and see what she does. Frankly you should hope she takes the opportunity to ground her life for a solid future. She is 20, and needs to find where her path lies and not blow it for a boyfriend she has only known since September(?).

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-767176.html

    After a hard breakup before summer(?).

    I think you are way to attached too soon my emotional friend. Just saying.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Dec 17, 2013, 10:43 PM
    I agree, your closeness and attachment, so fast, seeing every day, may be scaring her away.

    And if she is wanting to do this, and it is her goal, a boyfriend of 2 months will not stop her.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Dec 17, 2013, 10:49 PM
    I agree with Tal. Why should she plan her future around you? It's not like the two of you are married, you're only dating, and you haven't been dating that long. She has to plan her life without you in mind, and if you really cared about her, you'd encourage her to follow her dreams, instead of threatening to dump her if you don't get your way.

    Why not make plans for your future instead of trying to hold her back from hers?
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