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    Ani123's Avatar
    Ani123 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 18, 2011, 12:37 AM
    My Girlfriend wants to be Independent. Sheesh!
    I am lost guys.. I am really lost.

    I need someone to suggest me what to do..
    So, the thing goes like this..

    I was in relationship with a girl from last 3 months. Loved her like no one ever.. Actually I loved her from last 3 years, but never had guts to propose her. But 3 months back, I just went to her and proposed her.
    At that time she was going through a hard time as she had a so called "brother" *** best friend with him whom she was with last 3 years, but due to misunderstandings and stuff, his girlfriend created problems and they are at that time separated with a huge fight.

    So, firstly she said no to me as she was suffering from that stuff. But after my many proposals and time spent with each other, she started loving me and finally said yes.
    I always supported her, loved her, helped her, surprised her with gifts, roses and stuff. I consoled her whenever she cried remembering her brother. And things went like that.. And my love kept increasing for her.

    Then I got admission in a college away from my city. Quite far away, that I can't visit on weekends or stuff. When I told her this... she was happy that I got admission but became sad at the same time that I am going. Then suddenly we started fighting more often due to small-small issues. Last week.. she decided to meet her so called her brother and clear all the stuff..
    Simultaneously whenever I called her she said she is busy and can't talk because she is in admission procedure too. Finally she called me at night and told me she met his brother and cleared all the stuff but the things wouldn't change.

    Then she suddenly said, she wants a break up. She is tired of all the stuffs as I said her that I smoked(she hates smoking). I told her that I smoked because I didn't wanted to hide anything.

    That night I cried night badly... Thought she might be disturbed because that guy.. This all happened day before yesterday. And today she called me and said, She wants doesn't want break up, she just wants to be Independent... and her nature isn't a practical kind of. She is emotional. She said that she has always been depended on someone.. firstly with her so called brother and then on me.. she said now me going to another city, she'll broke and will have no one with her.. So, she wants to be Independent.


    This is the story.
    Sorry, I know I went into a bit detail. But as its my life.. The opinions should be accurate and each detail does matter.

    Please help me.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    May 18, 2011, 09:35 AM

    She is protecting herself and letting you go now because you will leave soon, and maybe so will she.

    Things have changed, and she wants to do her own thing without that long distance stuff getting in the way.

    Just as you have to get more education to secure her future, so should she don't you think?

    Be aware because you have known her, and wanted to get with her for so long, you probably had a lot more feelings invested than she did, so you will be hurt more. That's okay, you have to adjust as we all do, when growing pains, and reality dictate adjustments to a changed situation.

    Sorry guy, for your loss, but as one door closes, another will open. Good luck as you enter the next phase of your young life.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    May 18, 2011, 12:01 PM

    You don't love someone in only three months together... that's called lust or infatuation. And you don't know someone until you actually ARE together. Love takes time to grow...

    This likely won't be the last one you have like this either.

    Consider dating as an audition for the leading role in the act of partner for life. And you want the best one you can find to play that part, not pick someone before you auditioned enough to find the best one.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    May 18, 2011, 01:04 PM
    She wants to be independent? There are a lot of independent females that have healthy relationships, I think it might just be an excuse. She doesn't seem to want the long distance relationship, or at least she hasn't made up her mind yet. But if she is getting like that with just the though of it, the action will be A LOT harder on her. Let her go and go do your things, because if you keep her she might hold you back and you should expect a lot more problems and issues from her in the future. When you say "Loved her like no one ever." it is a feeling that most people feel about their current partner, however later in life you learn that feeling can always be surpassed. With time, of course.

    Good Luck,
    Javi

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