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Ben ryman · Aug 21, 2013, 02:31 AM

My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and we have always ensured each other that we love each other so much and would never leave one another. She has recently said she wants space to her self to think about things because she feels as though something is missing in our relationship but doesn't know what. She says she still loves me though. My heart is aching and all I want to do is hold her but I am trying to respect her space. I don't know if she's having this break so she can forget about me or if I'm just thinking the worst? I'm going insane because I feel so in the dark to how she feels. What do I do ? And has there been any happy endings with situations like this ? Thank you .

Fr_Chuck · Aug 21, 2013, 02:34 AM

Almost always, the "I want a break" really means I want to break up and I am trying to do this in a nice way without a fight.

If she wants a break, for how long ? What will the rules be, Can you both now date ? Does she plan to ? Will you both talk some ? When is there a plan to meet about getting back together.

Just "I need time" really means, it is over, and I am being nice

N0help4u · Aug 21, 2013, 06:28 PM

Want space is almost always an easy let down that they want to break up without coming right out and saying it. Use to be the line was 'I need to go find myself'. They need this time because they just don't know why they aren't happy, but with the freedom of ''the space'' they realize it just wasn't what they wanted.

Jake2008 · Aug 22, 2013, 12:51 PM

Sadly, I have to agree. Wanting space, and/or needing a break, are convenient excuses to usually end a relationship, when stepping up and being honest would have been the right thing to do.

What you might want to consider is saying 'no more space', and tell her that if she is still unsure after a week, then YOU will consider the relationship over.

I think it is a horrible thing to do to somebody, 'take a break' away from the relationship without a reason.

In a solid relationship, couples work through problems, not hide them, and run away to avoid dealing with them.

talaniman · Aug 22, 2013, 01:34 PM

I know it drives you crazy not understanding any of this break/space stuff but believe me it always ends up good whether you see it as a blessing in disguise or not. I can't figure her out any more than you can, so don't rack your brain speculating.

Take her at her word and work toward doing your own thing and see what happens. The important part is keeping your dignity and self respect and cope with this and in time the dust settles and you haven't made a pest, or a wuss out of yourself, by begging, crying, and annoying her to take you back. That's giving her what he asks for. She may miss you, and want you back, or she may NOT, but that's her call to make, so let her.

It's quite an adjustment to make after a shock of being dumped, but we all go through it, being dumped, and yes dumping some one, so set your mind to thriving and surviving this temporary set back, and do better without her because you can. Was she your first? How old are you both?

All things change my friend and feelings do to. This is a matter of regrouping, adjusting, and growing for the better. Getting ready for the next big challenge that life throw at you.