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CT9907 · Sep 7, 2010, 07:35 AM

I am at a point that things are really driving me crazy and hurting me at the same time. I Love her and would like to spend the rest of my life with her. I am a 42yo ex dancer myself and I am 10 yrs older then she is, we have both been through a divorse. She is a smart and beautifull person which I love her for who she is not what she does. We have had some issues in the past which at the time I broke her trust with me. I did not cheat on her! There were times when she was at work I would chat and surf,watch porn and also scroll through craigslist board when she as at work because I missed her and also did not like it. She told me she was doing for the right reasons and also doing it while she was in college. Now that college is over she has not made looking for a job in the field she went to school in a priorty, I have noticed that she has changed since I have hurt her before I always went with her and we were very open now she acts different wants her personal space and keeps her phone,keys and bag always in her side where she was never like that... She has told me I am crazy and paraniod and don't trust her. I am wondering if it is me or is there something being hidden on this situation...

beachloverjohn · Sep 7, 2010, 08:13 AM

I can't imagine that the things you said you did would cause her not to trust you. But this change in behavior on her part would indicate that something is wrong. I sense that you are no longer as supportive in her profession as you once were, and that is your prerogative. She may feel pressured to stop dancing and get another job, but that is not what she wants, I presume. So maybe she is trying to put some space between you two so she can figure out what matters most to her, you or continue stripping even though you do not approve. Ultimately, I think your actions and tolerance will lead her to a decision whether to stay or not.

talaniman · Sep 7, 2010, 10:25 AM

For whatever reasons, whether its you pushing, or her seeing things different, her mind is changing, and not for the better. If honest communications doesn't work to solve things, then you can expect even bigger changes in the situation very soon.

She doesn't sound very willing to continue working with you within the relationship from what you have written.

I wish · Sep 7, 2010, 11:41 AM

Hard work in a relationship is always helpful, but if you can't accept her for who she is, then you're better off going your separate ways.

CT9907 · Sep 7, 2010, 03:05 PM

I want to thank you all but she is also doing things diffrently before she was open with her back pack and phone now she hides, silents, and keeps things in her car.

tinyazn · Sep 28, 2010, 08:31 PM

She's a stripper. I mean no offense or anything, but she's not shy about her body and she's not afraid to open up to any guy..

answerme_tender · Sep 29, 2010, 07:31 AM

Maybe she wants a boyfriend and not a JUDGE. You knew what she did and still wanted to be with her. For whatever reason you have changed your mind. This is your decision, but its not hers. Words can be very hurtful and you obviously said some very painful ones to her. One of the things I thnk that separate a woman from a man comes down to one word and its "DWELL". Woman dwell on almost every aspect of their lives from past,present,future and we have plenty of time to dwell for other members of our family. She is probably still dwelling the painful things you said. She may feel that trust is broken.
What are you going to do about it? Are you willing to accept her. That would include respecting her choices. Be next to her side as her man, not acting like her superior. If you cant, then that's okay, you have every right to live with your choice and move on. I wish you the best, good luck