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    theworldshero's Avatar
    theworldshero Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 21, 2018, 10:37 AM
    My girlfriend is sick and I'm doing all the work.
    Hi,
    I have been dating my girlfriend for 8 months now. I'm 30 and she is 27. She is a great girl and I love her, but there are things that are really bothering me.

    1) She's selfish - I do most of the giving in the relationship. For 8 months I cook for her non stop, always do stuff for her and buy her her own groceries for when she stays at my place. One time she got free Vitamin Water from a store (for herself of course) She was drinking one at my house and I took a sip. She looked at me like she wanted to rip my head off, took it away from me and said "That's mine". I said "Wow, you would think after all I do for you, one sip wouldn't matter" She replied "That was more like a gulp and I'm stingy with my Vitamin Water"

    2) She doesn't listen - I'll tell her things or give her advice, she doesn't listen to it and then something happens where if she took my advice everything would be fine. Ex- I tell her every time she leaves my house to go home a certain way because the way she goes home have horrible roads and potholes. She said "Oh, no it's fine" Well, a month after dating she gets a flat, but she doesn't pull over and stop, she decides to driver another 15 miles further, ruining the rim. She calls me and I had to drive an hour to change her tire and put the spare on.

    She drove with the spare for a month. I told her she needs to change it ASAP and to also get another spare rim and tire so she has a good spare and not that crappy one.
    Well, 2 months later... she drives home the same way, gets another flat and ruins another rim... Puts on the same old spare and I had to look for a rim and tire for her AGAIN!
    When we first started dating, she was taking caffeine pills and not eating so great... I told her to stop taking those pills and eat better. She eats better now, because I coo, but the caffeine pills bring me to my last point...

    3) Sick and Anxiety attacks - For the past month she's been feeling sick. Dizziness, nauseous, etc. She went to the hospital twice and both times all tests came back normal. They said she is going through caffeine withdrawal and is getting anxiety attacks. For this past month, all she does is sit and watch TV. Doesn't work, doesn't do anything. Then, she'll call me when I"m at work when she's home and ask me to leave work and come sit with her because she's not feeling well. I dropped everything twice so far just to sit with her. We just sit there all day, watch TV, I'll cook for her and bring her things, and I can't stand it anymore.

    Recently I have been putting my foot down and saying "No", but then she says, "Oh, you don't love me" and that infuriates me! Yesterday, she asks me if I can pick her up to go get her anxiety medication at 2pm. I said "I can't hun, I have to work" she roles her eyes and says "I thought you loved me"

    This past Valentine's Day she didn't even get me a card. Nothing. She said "Sorry I didn't get you anything babe, I haven't been feeling well. But... when I dropped her back off at her parents house, she had TONS of boxes from shopping online. It really hurt my feelings. So, I'm confused and don't know what to do. Part of me wants to take a break, have fun, and enjoy life, but the other part of me feels guilty and makes me feel like an A** for not doing more for her or feeling more sympathetic that she's not feeling well.

    I'm giving all I can and it's draining me. What should I do?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Feb 21, 2018, 10:56 AM
    Break up! Don't look back!
    ma0641's Avatar
    ma0641 Posts: 15,675, Reputation: 1012
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    #3

    Feb 21, 2018, 04:41 PM
    You really can't answer this yourself ? Reread your last sentence. Stop feeling guilty, she's using you.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #4

    Feb 22, 2018, 04:25 AM
    Does she have a laundry list of things she doesn't appreciate about you?

    A healthy relationship is one where both parties put the other person first. That doesn't seem to be happening here. When a relationship has gotten to the point where it's more work than fun, it might be time to considering moving on.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #5

    Feb 22, 2018, 06:17 AM
    ''I love him/her but'' is the most used phrase on any Q and A site online. The 'but' is always followed by a long string of complaints that would send most of us screaming out the door.
    You are bordering on masochist. No wait, you ARE a masochist.

    There is a certain kind of person who won't leave because they have what I call kicked dog syndrome. They just hope for that one little glimmer of love.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Feb 22, 2018, 07:40 AM
    Joy is right, you want this to be love so bad you ignore the BIG RED FLAG! All the buts that has given you 8 months of misery. I have no doubt she loves you though. Where else could she find such a devoted, albeit disgruntled, slave to her flaws?

    I warn you my friend, while you find her flaws, don't ignore your own. Those are the only ones YOU can change. I seriously doubt she wants to change hers though. Don't fret though you just haven't had enough of her crap yet, but you will. When? That's up to you. Obviously the lust has faded, but can you say the love is growing?

    Good Luck! You will need it!
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #7

    Feb 23, 2018, 05:26 AM
    30 seconds after starting to read your post... I was wondering why you liked being a doormat. I'd have sent her packing a long time ago. She's not going to change. She's a lazy leech. Most aren't like that. Find a better one.

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