My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 6 years. She has been graduated from college for a year and a half and isn't having much luck finding a job she likes here. I graduated a film school, which isn't a degree, but generally held in high regards for that particular field. I have accomplished quite a few things on a smaller scale for how long I've been working in the industry and I have made a lot of connections that may provide some possibilities of a career I want. My dream would be to have this job probably in California, and more than likely near/in Los Angeles with my girlfriend. Since we started dated we always talked about moving out to California... Even before I went to film school.

So the year after I graduated and she graduated, she wasn't ready to move out of state away from her family, so she wanted to live somewhat close by first... I was fine with this because I was still honing my skills and learning much about the field I am going into, so I found a way to be positive about staying a while longer. We finally moved in together, which was about 6 months ago. I made quite a few sacrifices to make her happy with where we live. And things have been going pretty good. I have been planning on proposing to her for quite some time now because I love her and I know she loves me.

We are leaving for a trip to Paris, France tomorrow because she always dreamed of going there and that is where I planned to propose. She is pretty much aware that I am planning to propose... I believe her parents accidentally gave it away. I should also mention that my day job is working for an airline, so we fly free and very frequently. This fact has always provided us with a HUGE opportunity to take job interviews and explore areas that we would potentially want to move to at no cost.

My concern is that when I talk about people that I've met and opportunities I may get for us to move to California, she gets stressed out and disengages the conversation. I know she is happy for me, but she seems skeptical about wanting to move out of state if she doesn't have her own path for success lined up. I can respect that, but what can I do about this?

She is an only child and is VERY attached to her parents, but she has stated that she would still move out... She is also 2 years older than me. She just has a hard time with it. She also has an aunt she is very close to who lives in Long Beach, California... Which is very close to LA if we did in fact decide to move there, which should help her with her feelings about family orientation. Should I be worried that she is stressed when we discuss matters about moving out of state? Or when I give her hypothetical scenarios of if I were to get a good job opportunity? I only ask her so that there are no surprises...

When she asked me to put myself in her shoes, I can honestly say that despite the decision being difficult, I wouldn't get so stressed or handle it poorly, or shut down the conversation as she has... I would instead have a rational conversation about it and take a look at the options that are at hand... Weigh the options out and see where it is we could both be happy and I honestly wouldn't oppose living a few other places. I know we both want to live in a cool city like Chicago, or NYC, or LA. Its not like we would be 100% on staying anywhere... I even told her where ever we end up, we may both end up deciding on leaving some day... Its hard to say at this point, but I just want to know that she will support me if I take an opportunity to go to California, which was always our game plan.

Am I being too pushy for answers? Or does she need to be able to give me a more concrete answer than a "I don't know, we'll cross that bridge when it happens." I love this girl and care for her very much. She just seems fearful of her own 'failure' and I want to know how to go about this the right way. Obviously there are more details that could play into affect here, but I don't want to ramble on much more than this. Please, share your thoughts.

I know you love the girl, and 6 years is a really long relationship to have as young as you both are. But I see you having to make the choice to try your luck elsewhere, ALONE! No way does she give up real security for a dream. Or face her own inabilities to succeed herself. I know, you kids had high hopes of doing this together, I can understand that, but she wants to settle where she is it seems and wants you to stay there. That's the reality of her actions. So now its decision time.

Wait and hope for her to get ready, or make your move when you get ready.

I think you talk to her but expect to follow your dreams, or at least try without her tagging along at least until you build a foundation. I have the strange feeling she would rather stay home and have babies than get a career in a strange town. These are things to be discussed, and understood.

Females are always looking further, and more practically at long term ideas, and to be honest, it may be a few years before she is ready for that leap of faith to a new location and life. When it comes to YOUR dreams, be prepared to support YOURSELF. That may also require some years.

TALK! Above all, understand her fears.