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My girlfriend says she wants to be single
Asked Feb 24, 2008, 03:05 AM
I've been with my girlfriend since last May and at first it was great, we both couldn't be apart and we made each other laugh. We both liked to hug and kiss each other but now it seems like that's all changed.
It started in December when I lost my job. Obviously I couldn't spend as much money so we didn't go out as much, but that didn't seem to matter. She helped me try and find some more jobs, but they weren't being successful.
Then just before new year I met up with her to take her to mine to stay the night but she was feeling well so I asked if she wanted to go back home. She started shouting at me and asked me to go away, which after a while I did. We met up later though that night and did go back to mine but she then complained that I left her. I didn't want to but she kept arguing with me so I felt like I had no choice.
Then at New Years I couldn't meet her because of lack of transport and because she wouldn't be back till about 5. She suggested I went to my mum's which I did. Later on though she complained that I should have gone over to her's before I went to my mum's. Believe me if I could I would but I didn't think that was possible as I would only be with her for a few minutes before I had to leave again.
To make things worse she lost her job just after new year and so we were both unemployed. We both have been helping each other to try and find jobs and recently I found one although she is still unemployed.
She has been getting edgy over little things recently and we have been arguing more. Also she never seems to wants me to hold her or kiss her and it just makes me feel like I'm not good enough.
I do love her I always have but I don't feel like she does me. She is going through hard times and she still talks a lot to me and we do have a laugh at times but it's not like it was
I used to see her every day after I finished work, but now I hardly ever do because she says there's nothing to do so don't bother coming over. Even at weekends she won't see me unless she gets to stay which isn't possible at all times.
Then I got a text yesterday saying she's thinking of finishing me because she wants to be single and have a life. She complained that I text her every day (which is true, but she does the same with me). I don't know what to do, I tried to text her to ask if we can talk but she just complained that I text her so much. What should I do
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Feb 24, 2008, 03:38 AM
She wants to be single, let her... Go No Contact. Leave her alone for awhile, she has made her decision, let her live with it. If she thinks the grass is greener, let her find out. But any contact will push her away, it will be hard, but it will help you a lot in the long run. Learn to love yourself enough to move on.
If you haven't already, read the stickies, my thread, ISNEEZEFUNNY's thread, ROMEFALLS' thread, and ASH's break-up survival guide... all good stuff!
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Feb 24, 2008, 03:46 AM
Be warned, some of the things I am going to say may or may not be hard to digest.
Think about what she is doing in these examples... pulling you closer, pushing you away, then pulling you closer again and blaming you for leaving her.
A common thing people do is to make themselves out to be a victim when they feel guilty about something.
Also, more often than not, when a girl says she wants to be single and have a life and not be tied down. She is really trying to say that she wants to party and hook up with people and do anything she wants without feeling guilty.
Which brings me back to why she is making herself out to be a victim.
My only advice is to be straight with her, just say "is there anything left between us?" or something along that line...
Make sure she doesn't get confused as to what your asking her, and make sure she doesn't fly off the handle and scream at you, just discuss it calmly. If it seems as if its time to go your separate ways, then that's what you should do.
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Feb 24, 2008, 09:25 AM
She wants to be single, let her, she needs to be, as life has popped her in the head, and she is confused about herself, and what she wants to do. That's normal for a female her age, and she needs to grow and explore. LET HER! As for you, leave her alone, and take control of your own life, health, and happiness. Do not contact her what so ever, and don't be available to her, as this will only get you as confused as she is. The mistake young guys make, is worrying about what we had, and not focusing on ourselves, and coping with our loss, in a positive way. Of course she will be on your mind a lot, as you shared a lot with her, but now its time to rebuild, regroup, and get busy with what makes you happy. Imation makes some good points, about her stroking her own guilt, and you don't need that at all. You do need to take control of those intense feelings, and get over her, and not be blinded by love, as she has clearly shown, she has none for you, no matter what she has said in the past. No Contact gives you, control over your own happiness, and that's what you need now.
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