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    Now_what's Avatar
    Now_what Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 18, 2012, 10:05 AM
    My girlfriend said she loves me but doesn't like me, now what?
    Yesterday my girlfriend of the past several months, the girl I love with all my heart, said that she doesn't like me. She says she loves me but isn't physically attracted to me. I believe she loves me, I have never doubted that and I'm not going to start now but I just don't understand, how can she love me, yet not like me? In my eyes she is a goddess, is she really? Probably not, but in my eyes she is and I thought when you are in love with someone that's how you see him.
    Still and discounting that, the question I need to ask is simple, now what? I always follow my gut with these things and my gut is telling me that breaking up with her is the right course. But, for what's probably the fist time, I can't do that, I simply can't leave her, how could I? I dream of spending my life with her, she is everything. Even more she begs me not to leave her, she says I'm an amazing person and the best thing to ever happen to her, she says as long as she doesn't find me repulsive, it doesn't matter if she isn't physically attracted to me, but doesn't it really? A complete relationship should fulfill you emotionally, intellectually AND physically. That's the kind of fulfillment she gives me, that's what I always wanted to give her too, so how can I accept it will never be? She is not a **** for god's sake, she is the girl I want to marry. How can I do that while knowing that something will always be missing, that I won't ever be the man of her dreams and how can I believe that all this won't one one day, maybe several years from now, come and bite us in the ***?

    I don't know what to do, please help.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Mar 19, 2012, 12:47 PM
    You talk to her and find out what the freak she means because it sounds to me like all she wants is a friend to keep her from being alone, or bored, and not looking for much else.

    How long have you been together and how old are you? Is this one of those arranged sort of things??
    Now_what's Avatar
    Now_what Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Mar 19, 2012, 01:23 PM
    Mid-20s and we've been together for 7 months, we know each other for years though and she was pursuing a relationship with me for more than a year before we finally got together. And arranged?
    Anyway I did talk to her, I insisted on this because I needed it to make some sense. In the end she told me it was her friends, that it wasn't really what she thought but what her friends were telling her. And that made her doubt what she thought. Of course that means that she needs to build some confidence pronto, not to mention better friends, but at least it's a problem I know how to help her deal with.
    Thanks for your time talaniman.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Mar 19, 2012, 02:44 PM
    She is new to this romance/love stuff, and maybe you back up a bit and let her get more comfortable. The only reason she would even talk to friends is because she is unsure how to act, and 7 months isn't that long either.

    BIG BIG difference between knowing each other for years, and partners for 7 months. What's the hurry? Relax, have fun, see what happens.

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