Hi,

I am hopelessly and seriously in love with this girl that I know since the past 6 - 7 years. Love really developed only in the course of time, but I have really been crazily in love since the past year and a half... so well.. this is a bit weird, but for some or the other reasons, while we were in a relationship before as well, none of us really cared the way we should have. No one is really to be blamed for those years as even she was very unconcerned - won't call for months and still claim that she loved me. But fine, over the past year, things improved from both our ends and the relationship really blossomed.

She is into modelling and I'm a lawyer. Over the past few months she has been unnecessarily suspicious about everything I do. For instance, if I don't receive my phone, she would assume that I am with some other girl; if I didn't leave her alone with my rommie, she would assume that I did her so my roomie couldn't tell her anything about my other relationships etc... and now when we went for my birthday party, she says she saw me kiss my colleague.

Now, as hilarious as I may find it, the fact is that she believes that she saw it. I am so frustrated that I feel like banging my head. One, I would never kiss in public, and two, even if I did, I would not do that before all my office collegaues and create a scene. The essence is, I would never do it, and I did not. But she is just not prepared to believe in me... very frustrated - don't know how to handle it. Also, is this hallucination?

Ruchir

You'll need to be patient with her. Work with her to find out the root of her insecurities. She definitely doesn't trust you. No trust = No relationship.

Both of you will need to put in the effort to repair that trust. List out the issues and try to find a mutual understanding. Work together to find solutions.

If you can't find a way to repair it, then it may be better to go your separate ways, instead of dragging out the inevitable.

Has she always been this insecure and jealous?

You need a long calm talk about what her actions are doing to you, and see if she is willing to explain, or work for change with you.

If you can't work together, through honest communications, to resolve your issues to the benefit of you both, then you don't have much of a relationship any way.

It also sounds to me that it is possible that she hasn't stopped some of her extra cirricular relationships and maybe is very paranoid that you haven't either. Patience and communication is a great remedy but only if you feel or know that you are dealing with someone that is very rational and level headed. I think it would be important to discuss with her how serious this is and go slowly from there. Do you feel that she is being faithful in your relationship? You mention hulucinations... do you have a reason to believe that this would apply?

Deal with this by saying Goodbye. Either she's insane or you're busted.