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New Member
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Jul 1, 2009, 12:25 PM
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Girlfriend Moving Out
My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years, and we have been living together for 4 years. Everything was going fine at home, then she received a phone call from her little brother telling her that her grandmother is sick and in the hospital. Her grandma basically raised her until she was 13 years old, she means everything to her. Her grandma has MS, multipe sclerosis and has gotten progressively worst. She went there to visit for 6 days then came back and she was a completely different. That same day she came back she told me she is moving to live with her grandma, and she doesn't want me to come. She told me she still loves me and I know she still loves me but I'm sad that this has to happen like this. She left 2 days later. She said she wants to stay together and we will still see each other. I feel lost right now and I'm following my gut instincts, I believe that we will work through this and our relationship will grow stronger because of this. But I don't know if I should prepare myself for the best
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New Member
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Jul 1, 2009, 12:34 PM
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This is a toughy. Im not exactly sure what to say. You have to respect her for wanting to be there for her granmother as her granmother raised her and was there for your partner when she needed her. Now the tables have turned.
I'm not saying you should let her go altogether she will need someone whom she loves to be there for her as caring for someone with MS is going to be extremely tiering and draining. Get in contact with her, tell her you love her and then you will be there whenever she needs. Make sure she knows your there for her.
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Junior Member
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Jul 1, 2009, 12:35 PM
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It could be either way. She might have come to a realisation seeing her grandma like that, and that you might not have a future together. Or she realises that she has to prioritise her grandma now that she realises that she may not have much time left.
There's not much you can do in either situation, aside from giving her the space she wants, and being there for her when she needs you to be. That doesn't mean that you need to sit by your phone all day though!
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Ultra Member
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Jul 1, 2009, 12:37 PM
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I think you have to respect her decision, but also be prepared for the "I need space" line as well. Her looking after her grandmother is admirable being as she took care of your girlfriend.
Just continue to be supportive and understanding during this very very difficult time.
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New Member
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Jul 1, 2009, 01:56 PM
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As of right now we are still together and she wants to make this work and stay together. Her grandma was the one thing that meant the most to her in this world and I think when she saw her grandma she felt extremely lost and wants to try and make it through this by herself. When she moved out she didn't bring all of her stuff, she left a lot behind. I think she just wanted to get back to her grandma so fast because if she died without her being there would tear her up and she would never be able to forgive herself
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Ultra Member
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Jul 1, 2009, 02:17 PM
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I think that you need to continue to support your girlfriend in this. I personally don't see this as a 'break-up' situation. She is going through an emotional time and is probably very confused and just wants to make up the situation with her Grandmother.
Give her time and support and keep up the line of communication, she will have her hands full but need you emotionally through this time.
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Expert
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Jul 1, 2009, 02:42 PM
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This is her time to do what she has to do, and its your time to love and support her with what ever she needs. You're her partner, and should be secure enough to know that your needs are secondary to helping her through this most trying of times. Be her rock. Just because you love her. She needs your strength not your insecurities or your neediness.
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Uber Member
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Jul 1, 2009, 02:52 PM
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Her dedication to her grandmother is admirable and we all certainly feel for her impending loss. But I have to ask ; why is she now compelled to move in with her grandmother and exclude you? Especially after you've been together for the last 4 years. Definitely a red flag here. Is she grandma's only relative and thus her only available caretaker? Now don't misunderstand me ; it's not wrong that she wants to take care of her grandmother. But that ought not lead to her excluding you. I'm sorry, but it looks like she's using Grandma as an excuse to end things with you. I'd prepare for the worst.
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New Member
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Jul 1, 2009, 04:00 PM
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Well for the longest time we were planning on either buying or building a house and we would make the house handicap accessible so her grandma could move in with us. Then all of a sudden she became extremely worse and ended up in the hospital. My girlfriend is the only family member that will take care of her so she feels responsible.
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Ultra Member
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Jul 1, 2009, 05:03 PM
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Don't take this too much to heart.
These have been tremendous changes to her plans as well. I don't think that it is a reflection on your relationship as much as she saw it as her last opportunity to pay her own respects to the woman she respected.
Be supportive and encouraging and once she has a handle on all of her emotions about the situation, she will come around, four years is a big investment, she hasn't just up and walked away.
Good luck to you and keep us posted.
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New Member
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Jul 1, 2009, 05:31 PM
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I appreciate all the comments it really does help me stay positive thanks everyone
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