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    Helper Havi's Avatar
    Helper Havi Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 1, 2008, 08:44 AM
    Girlfriend left for two weeks in which my grandma died.
    I was with an incredible woman who was everything I ever wanted, we started as friends and she wouldn't go out with me for 3 years... Finally I told her how I felt and how difficult it would be for me to just be friends, she surrendered after 3 years of chasing her and she was everything I dreamed of... Now where it gets crazy... We were together for three years and in that time she had some communication issues, not very expressive of emotion (like her father she was raised by) and I am an expressive mofo... She left me on numerous occasions and said I was being mean but really she was afraid of my love, her dad never tells her he loves her and no hugs or nothing... I am not that needy of a man, I just love her and I am not afraid to show / say it... Anyway, she left me alone while I was taking care of my dying grandma, she left for two weeks no phone calls, no stopping by, nothing... So now steps in Danielle (my good friend) and her boyfriend just left her and ran away out of state, I am alone in these two weeks (and my Grandma died)... I needed someone (besides family) to be there for me, my girlfriend at the time was nowhere to be found and I was done trying to call her and chase her when she leaves all the time... So Danielle and I hook up and decide we like each other, we had sex and things didn't work out, Now Danielle is pregnant with my son and I want to try to mend things with my ex and she is with somebody new... (traveling out of state actually) I want to be back with her and if I can't be back with her I need some closure... I have know my ex for along time and we have bben through a lot together...

    Does anybody think I have a chance with my ex-girlfriend?? I am still in love with her...
    EuRa's Avatar
    EuRa Posts: 315, Reputation: 64
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    #2

    Feb 1, 2008, 08:55 AM
    1) You sound controlling and/or jealous. You're sitting there telling us "she's afraid of your love", and telling us what she feels and how she's thinking. All signs of control and/or jealousy. That is one reason she left.

    2) You're insecure. You didn't get the affection you needed from your GF, so you sought it elsewhere. Your grandmother died, I'm sorry to hear that. But the death of your grandmother didn't force you to have sex with someone else, so don't use that as an excuse.

    3) I love how you say briefly "she is pregnant" then brush it off. Are you at all concerned that you're bringing in another life onto this planet? That's a much bigger responsibility than anything else you have going on. 99% of your focus should be on the well-being of your child.

    ------------------

    This girl you talked about might be a great person. But you come off as controlling, jealous, insecure, too impulsive, selfish, needy, and misguided. It's a lot to handle coming from one plate, I know. But you need to take care of yourself first before you can even think about getting back together with an ex. Think about it. She left you for a reason(s). You need to fix the reason(s). Why else would she come back?

    BTW, she moved on. She's out of state you say. Plus you have a baby on the way. Your chances are slim to none.


    ------------------

    I just want to add that you are manipulative. You titled the thread "gf left during which your grandmother died", but the title didn't need to be worded in such a way. You were/are trying to get us to say what you want to hear. It won't work. You need to wake up and face the facts of life, or else you are going to ride a long and bumpy ride.
    lickemlolly's Avatar
    lickemlolly Posts: 397, Reputation: 62
    Full Member
     
    #3

    Feb 1, 2008, 09:02 AM
    Sorry to say but you told her you didn't want her by moving on and getting another woman pregnant... now she has done the same. Let it go, you are not going to get her back. Its wishful thinking and if you had any chance before of getting her back you lost it when you got the other girl pregnant. I agree with the other comment, you should be worrying about the well being of your child not chasing after someone else. Sounds like you are just trying to brush the baby off like its nothing its not the baby's fault you had casual sex with someone and were irresponsible. You should be focused on you coming responsibility and how you're going to be a father to this child instead of chasing after someone who obviously has moved on
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #4

    Feb 1, 2008, 09:06 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Helper Havi
    I was with an incredible woman who was everything I ever wanted, we started out as friends and she wouldn't go out with me for 3 years... Finally I told her how I felt and how difficult it would be for me to just be friends, she surrendered after 3 years of chasing her and she was everything I dreamed of.... Now where it gets crazy.... We were together for three years and in that time she had some communication issues, not very expressive of emotion (like her father she was raised by) and I am an expressive mofo..... She left me on numerous occasions and said I was being mean but really she was afraid of my love, her dad never tells her he loves her and no hugs or nothing.... I am not that needy of a man, I just love her and I am not afraid to show / say it.... Anyways, she left me alone while I was taking care of my dying grandma, she left for two weeks no phone calls, no stopping by, nothing..... So now steps in Danielle (my good friend) and her bf just left her and ran away out of state, I am alone in these two weeks (and my Grandma died)..... I needed someone (besides family) to be there for me, my girlfriend at the time was nowhere to be found and I was done trying to call her and chase her when she leaves all the time... So Danielle and I hook up and decide we like each other, we had sex and things didn't work out, Now Danielle is pregnant with my son and I want to try to mend things with my ex and she is with somebody new.... (traveling out of state actually) I want to be back with her and if I can't be back with her I need some closure ........ I have know my ex for along time and we have been through a lot together....

    Does anybody think I have a chance with my ex-girlfriend???? I am still in love with her...
    Are you serious?
    She left you because she said you were being mean, and you say she was just afraid of your love. Maybe in her eyes you were mean.
    I'm sorry to hear about your grand ma, and I can understand needing a friend during that time, but what does her death have to do with your having unprotected sex with someone and now having a baby on the way?
    Your ex is gone and has moved on. You say she is always leaving you, has communication problems but you want her back. Why? I suggest you concentrate on taking care of this baby you have created and leave your ex alone.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Feb 1, 2008, 09:39 AM
    Dude cheating on someone?

    Nah I'm not even going to say anything

    Pay for your mistakes and try not to hurt to many people.

    Look after your kid.

    No one should act like that. Even more so when they have a kid coming into this world

    Grow up
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Feb 2, 2008, 04:02 PM
    Confusing as to the reference of your grandma dying, sorry for your loss, but I hope that your not using that as an excuse. No, the ex will not be back, and their will be no relationship with the baby's mama either. That's good, as you have issues that you need to work on, before you have a relationship. Like caring for a child from a rebound fling. I think the way you have handled your problems so far, is not healthy.

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