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    Reptar3o5's Avatar
    Reptar3o5 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 25, 2011, 10:48 PM
    My Girlfriend Left Me, and said I Did Nothing Wrong?
    Hey, this is probably the last place I would figure myself to be looking for advice, but my heart is truly split in two and rationalities are the farthest things from my mind.

    My GF of 3 years broke up with me today, reason being "she wants to experience things for herself, and not as a couple". I insistently wanted to know what it was that I did wrong o lead her to the action of ending our relationship, but was left with "you haven't done anything wrong". Her and I rarely had serious fights and have never come close to breaking up in all of our 3 years. I love her unconditionally and have been extremely devoted and committed to loving her and keeping her happy.

    She cried while breaking up with me (she is very emotional) saying that she doesn't think its fair that I'm giving 100% and she's only giving 50% into our relationship. I honestly have been in the state of mind where yes, I did feel comfortable with where we were, so much so that her leaving me was the FARTHEST THING from my mind. I was completely blindsided by the whole event.

    I really don't know what to do, I know that a lot of people say, "move on, find time for yourself" But I really don't want to. She is the only one I want to be with and it pains me to even think of living life without her. There are pictures of us all over my room, and I have every single note/picture she has ever written me saved, with some pinned to the wall by my desk and the thought of removing them or thinking of them as just moments in the past is truly heartbreaking. I can only describe myself as feeling as though she has died as any thought of her leads me to cringe up and cry. And I am not the type of person to cry, but for her, and only her, I do.

    Please just any advice on what I can do to get her back. I would literally do ANYTHING to have her back in my life. ANYTHING except let her slip through my fingers. I'd be forced to live a life of regret.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #2

    Aug 26, 2011, 10:32 AM
    All the pictures, notes, and poems you may have gathered over the years will not help your healing process. Either burn them, or at least storage them for a while until you are completely over her. Like she said, you have done nothing wrong, why are you looking for mistakes if you have never done anything wrong. Instead of wasting time trying to figure out unuseful information. The "why" she broke up with you is not important, it is the "fact" that she broke up with you that is. So start moving on. People grow, and relationships grow, sometimes they grown closer together and sometimes they grown farther apart. While you may have been feeling in heaven and be "happy" she might not have been feelings those same feelings, so if you love her as much as you do, you are going to have to respect her decision. Go no contact and keep yourself busy during the healing process. The only tool is time, you will get over this, you don't have to imagine how life would be without her because you were just fine before you were with her, and there will be a point where you are OK without her again, trust me.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Aug 26, 2011, 10:48 AM
    You are in shock now, and all those feelings are jamming your brain. Let the shock wear off and follow the good advice of the previous poster.

    You did nothing wrong my friend. Its just her feelings changed. You had no control over that. Was she your first, or longest relationship?? Or just the best so far?? How old are you??
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #4

    Aug 26, 2011, 11:29 AM
    Feelings change. But you need to get rid of all that stuff. I just have to ask this and please don't take this the wrong way BUT just from reading your post it sounds like this relationship is/was your entire life. Am I wrong?
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #5

    Aug 27, 2011, 03:53 PM
    Maybe you did nothing wrong.
    Or her, except for breaking your heart.

    She cried because she knew it would blow you away. Didn't stop her though.

    Now its all up to you.
    Living w/o her. How are you going to do it?

    Hopefully by going NC, removing everything.
    Email, phone #s, photos, mementos, whatever is going to put her in the forefront of your mind.

    Yes, it sucks.
    But time & effort are your friends.

    I like to think when someone that you love no longer wants you, they no longer deserve your time, thoughts, effort or anything else.

    Sad, maybe, but the only way.
    NC. Forever. False hope or maybe later, no.

    This is just one of many lessons. A good reason not to rely on one person or a relationship to make you happy.

    Take it from me. Have done that many times.

    Nothing is ever certain. But, if you are cool & happy w/YOU, then that's all that matters. Everything else is gravy.

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