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lonely1985 · Dec 21, 2009, 03:05 AM

Hi,
I have been loving a girl right from my high school. She always used to be those famous ones and I being a backbencher introvert. I always aspired for her, dreamed of her. God was very kind and we continued being in same class for rest of school. She was my best friend. I proposed to her and she finally accepted in our last year of school. Since then for next 6 yrs we had a very healthy relationship. We loved each other and weaved many dreams together. Last year she told me she doesn't feel for me anymore and could not perceive me as a life partner. We still talk and from past one year I have been trying to convince her, but with every passing day she becomes even colder. I have a family and group of friends where everyone respects and loves me. I am 25 and have a stable job. I have no reasons to complain, however, I don't seem to enjoy anything if that is minus her. I can't live without her, I can't imagine her walking away with someone else. I can't forget and let her go. There is no one else in her life too, but she can't come back to me. She has threated that if I try to force her, she would remain alone a spinster for rest of her life but not marry me!! What should I do and how??

ROLCAM · Dec 21, 2009, 03:24 AM

You should not keep persisting.
Leave her alone.
Time will heal all wounds.
Plenty of fish in the sea!
I am not being nasty.
Try and move on.

amicon · Dec 21, 2009, 04:15 AM

She's made it clear that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. You must respect that and leave her alone. You need to heal from the breakup and I suggest you stop all communication with her-go no contact. Read the stickies at the top of the relationship page for more advice.

sully123 · Dec 21, 2009, 04:53 AM

It is what it is. You can't change things. She has made it clear, she doesn't want the relationship. She wants to move on. It sounds like this was your first love. The more you pressure her and bother her she will run the other way. Let it be. It's time for you to make new friends and go out and enjoy yourself. It sounds like your putting so much pressure on her and she will pull away further. No one knows the future, but can tell you from past experience, if you hassle her and don't give her space, you will never have a chance. No one wants to be smothered.

talaniman · Dec 21, 2009, 09:43 AM

You have no choice but to leave her alone and get a life without her. She put you in the friend zone a long time ago, and wants no romance or life as your partner.

Jake2008 · Dec 21, 2009, 10:24 PM

Maybe looking at it another way might help. Say if the two of you had had a serious argument, and she said she didn't want to ever see you again, and you both parted on bad terms. Then the next day, you both regretted what had happened, and worked it out, and life went on. Things were said, and done that neither of you meant to say or do.

This isn't like that. It's beyond something being said in the heat of the moment, or said to hurt you. It has become clear that she means what she says. This isn't a disagreement or argument that can be patched up.

She isn't coming back to you, and she's means what she says, from what you've written.

This will take time to sink in, and in time, you'll be able to enjoy your life again without missing her being there with you. It is difficult to accept the end of any relationship, nobody gets through that without a few emotional bruises. But, time has a way of healing a broken heart.

Time to leave her be, and accept that you are no longer a couple.