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sparrow123 · Apr 28, 2012, 12:16 AM

My girlfriend broke up with me for another guy who already has a girlfriend. Now this "other guy" is her ex and he treated her like crap, and he's not a good guy.

She told me she likes him now and its unfair to me if she's going out with me and liking him at the same time. I understood.

I really love her a lot. How to I get her to like me back?

none12345 · Apr 28, 2012, 12:20 AM

You don't get her back because there is nothing you can do to get her back and trust me I know. The only way to be back with her is if she makes the decision to get back with you on her own. Have some self respect and dignity by moving on with your life and forgetting about this girl. Like people say, "there are other fishes in the sea".

sparrow123 · Apr 28, 2012, 12:39 AM

She still wants to be friends though.. I told her I would. Am I doing the right thing?

none12345 · Apr 28, 2012, 12:58 AM

No you are not. She tells you she wants to be your friend because she doesn't want to feel guilt of dumping you, or that her time with you is a waste of time, or she wants to be with her new boyfriend AND you! Why is everything about her? That is just very selfish of her. You should not be her friend. You are obviously very hurt about this. In order to heal from this hurt you would need to cut all contact with her, meaning delete her from fb, your cell phone, messenger and what not, don't go near her or if she comes near you, a simple hi and then leave. Otherwise you will be hung over this girl for a LONG time and you will not be able to move on. You ll spend every living breath thinking about her, your career will start to take a toll, other girls will move away from you , etc.

joypulv · Apr 28, 2012, 01:01 AM

There's no right or wrong here. If you can tolerate the pain of one sided love, go ahead. If you don't mind being the safe haven she keeps coming back to when \guys treat her badly, go ahead. Maybe someday she'll have enough of them and be glad she had you as her Rock of Gibralter, or maybe she will treat you like a loyal puppy. You just don't know.

talaniman · Apr 28, 2012, 07:24 AM

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Better listen guy because you may love some one and want them badly, but have to accept they don't love you, or want you as anything but a friend, and that's debatable.

Leave her alone and let her make a choice of what she wants without you hanging out, as a "friend" hoping she changes her mind, or her feelings for you, and about you.

Your friendship is not honest, or clean, because you have an agenda for that friendship you give. You only offer it to get her to love you, and want you as you love her, and want her. You set yourself up for misery when you do this, if she doesn't do as you want.

Go do your thing fella, and don't fall for that false hope, and bow out of her life gracefully, and keep your dignity, and self respect.

sparrow123 · May 1, 2012, 06:57 AM

Now her friends tell me she just doesn't like me :/ What the do I do now :/

none12345 · May 1, 2012, 07:56 AM

Guy, we already told you what to do, yet you refuse to listen. Had you cut all contact with her and her friends, you wouldn't have heard that and you ll be on your way on the path of healing. Instead, you're still hung up about this girl, trying to get any scrap of her in your life and now you ended up with more pain. Ultimately the decision is yours to make, to move on with your life and to remove all contact with her and heal, or to keep her in your life, keep getting hurt, move no where towards your life and be her lapdog, as soon as she calls you immediately run to her.

sparrow123 · May 1, 2012, 08:04 AM

Yeah I know, I appreciate all your advice but its so ing hard cause she's been my friend before this too... :/ And I can't stand picturing her with another guy :/

She basically dumped me because she doesn't like me anymore. I really want her to like me back again but I don't know what to do... :/ should I let her know I'm devastated by the break up or be chilled with it?

none12345 · May 1, 2012, 06:01 PM

Harshness Warning

Guy! You should move on and forget about this girl. How many times do we have to say this. Trust me I know what you're feeling, I've been this friends with this girl for over 8 years then we got together for 2 than she left me for another guy. I was stuck thinking about her for a whole year, doing nothing, staying in my room, ignore all my friends, my university grades suffered, I stopped talking to all my friends and family, my work was going down hill for 1 whole year! If you don't get your act together guy and move on from this girl meaning stop being her friend, stop trying to get her back, you will suffer the same fate I did. The more you push her, the more she wants to string you along and reluctant to get back with you. Do yourself a favour and realize that before you waste your life away.

sparrow123 · May 4, 2012, 08:16 AM

I haven't spoken to her for almost a week... I feel a lot better but I still miss her a bit. I try not to think of her now. Thank you for all your help people. :) Any more advice to help me heal better?

talaniman · May 4, 2012, 08:23 AM

Get busy enjoying yourself and look forward to feeling better next week. You do know you will have down days occasionally like the rest of the population don't you?

sparrow123 · May 4, 2012, 08:40 AM

What do you mean?

talaniman · May 4, 2012, 09:02 AM

Even single people have bad days and all to often dwell on exes, and better times, everyone does. Know this, and be ready for days like that. Been married more than 30 years, and still get haunted by exes from way back when, especially after a disagreement with the wife, or a full moon.

Its not a reason to panic, fret, or even act on those old, (or in your case still fresh after a week), feelings.

mmresd · May 4, 2012, 02:50 PM

Why would you want someone who is willing to let you go so easily?

Move on buddy, what she does from the moment she broke up with you, fair or not, is none of your business anymore. Live your life, and don't let this drama get to you, she is not worth anything.

Polandjl · May 24, 2012, 02:59 PM

Dude. Let her go. Find another girl. She might even get jealous and come back to you.