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megatron83 · Jul 16, 2012, 06:28 PM

Hi
I need your opinion on this. Girlfriend and I live together and been in a relationship for a year now. The thing is, she always breaks up with me each time we fight. She has always been that way right from the start so I've gotten used to it now. Also, she told me never to believe her when she says she wants to break up because she tends to say things out of anger. Our relationship has been a roller coaster ride more or less because when she's with me, she's really into me, but when we fight, she's as cold as she was warm.

Hence, the question, how do I know that she's breaking up for good, as opposed to she just say things out of anger? Does she still love me, since every effort in reconciliation is a success? Somehow we always get back into each other's arms... Help

Enigma1999 · Jul 16, 2012, 07:38 PM

It's her defense mechanism. It's the only way she knows how to fight. She knows by saying that, it will hurt you the most.

It's not right and it's unfair. She will become the little boy who cries wolf. This needs to stop. I, myself, don't know when she is or will be serious about breaking up. It sounds as if you two have a toxic relationship. Arguing is normal and sometimes needed in a relationship. But breaking up over and over again? Not so much.

Is this how you want to live? Doubtful. You really need to talk to her, by saying that this breaking up cannot continue.

You two sound young. How old are you both?

megatron83 · Jul 16, 2012, 07:53 PM

Thank you for reading and giving your two cents. She's 26 and I'm 28.

Enigma1999 · Jul 16, 2012, 08:55 PM

With all due respect, I thought you two were younger.

What are the fights mainly about? Is she a jealous woman? How often do you two fight?

megatron83 · Jul 16, 2012, 09:09 PM

The fights were mainly about money. Lol. She does not approve of my online jobs, thinks I should work at an office and only wants the best for me and for us. We have established a way to figure out how to manage it with less fights now. Other than that and a few minor things, we're awesome together.

Perhaps I'm over-analyzing, but I keep thinking how I would ever know if she means what she is saying, like breaking up, for example, compared to when the time comes when she really wants to break up, and I'm just not giving her space, you know what I mean?

Enigma1999 · Jul 16, 2012, 09:55 PM

I do. I think the main thing is communication. If you two are great together in many ways, then I think that you two may have a shot. Have you ever said that it hurts and bothers you that she breaks up every time you have a fight?

You know that you will have many fights and debates, and you can't be sitting at the edge of your seat waiting for her words to follow through. You need to stress to her that you are afraid that she might really mean it.