Hi there. I had been with my GF for 3 years. She and I both said we were soul mates and best friends. We rarely argued and had great fun in each others company. At the start of this year it came out that I had cheated early on in the relationship, which was a stupid mistake on my behalf. I was quite nonchalant about my relationship in the early days. My GF on the other hand was besotted with me at this stage.My love has grown for her exponentially over time. Anyway she forgave me.
Well she's been having counseling this year as she suffers from Claustrophobia, she can't get on planes, trains or tubes. Her claustrophobia annoyed me somewhat but I dealt with it, but I was very encouraging of the counseling, (although I feel it has led her to have this awakening and leave me).
We had been out 2 weeks ago, came home after a night out, and she broke down in tears saying we weren't going anywhere, we didn't live together - I had plans to buy a place for us next year, she couldn't forget about the cheating, her dad had left her mum and didn't want to end up like her mum etc. I admit my communication about these things might have been a little poor. I told her I wanted to marry her and have kids with her etc,that I really loved her - and she said she didn't know any of this. So she said don't contact her for 2 weeks while she got her head straight. Anyway 2 days later she asked to come round. I thought it was for a reconciliation, but in tears again she told me I was her best friend and soulmate, but her heart told her we would not last. I pleaded - to no avail. She broke up with me. The next day I woke up shaking - couldn't believe it - I was shaking - at 5am, and I text her saying I loved her, wanted her back etc. She text me back saying she loved me, I was her soulmate and best friend, that I wouldn't understand, neither did she but she had to follow her heart. I told her to promise me if she ever had a change of heart she would call and tell me, which she agreed to. She said she would love me for ever.
Well its been 10 days since then. I text her 4 days ago saying I miss her, and she called back. We were both in tears. She told me not to wait for her, and go out with other women (that really hurt), I said I couldn't just turn off my love for her like that, and again I said promise to tell me if she changed her heart, as I just can't move on right now. She also said maybe in like 2 months we could go out for a drink or salsa dancing (we met at salsa). I also told her I had a job interview the following day.
Well today she text me - I had vowed not to contact her. She asked if it was OK that she was texting me, how the interview was etc. I told it was fine to call or text me, and she said the same thing back.
Anyway I'm very confused about what to do, I really love her and want her back but am getting very mixed signals from her. I don't understand why she split up with me out of the blue and feel abandoned. I feel angry there was no conversation from her about stuff. I have been in so much pain and tears, I thought this chick would never ever walk on me. I haven't been able to eat or sleep. Slowly I am improving, but she permeates my thoughts daily. I think the best thing might be not to contact her at all, I'm so confused - any one got any good advice out there please?

"i think the best thing might be not to contact her at all"

Yes. That's the only way to heal. To go NC & forget trying to get back with her or being her friend at this point.

Breakups suck, that's for sure. I suggest reading the stickies at the top of the relationship thread.

Don't rely on false hope. Live your life without her now.

Hmmmmm I've been in a relationship for a few years to and he goes to me we can't continue together and I tried to call him everyday to ask him why and I loved him because he was everything in my life but what happened is that I saw my best friend talking to him that means his heart has gone from me to someone else but I had to accept that but I couldn't because I was to weak and I tried to lose my life because of him but I got over it by doing some staff that makes my mind busy

I think you should do the same thing!

Thanks for the answers guys. She text me yesterday, asking if it was OK to text and if I had got my job from the interview I had a few days earlier. I said it was cool to text, and call for that matter - stupid answer I know. I'm still in shock this has happened - and am now sticking to the "Stay gone" rule, which goes a little further then no contact (which implies there will be some contact after some time). I'm just not going to contact her, I feel abandoned and betrayed by her. Maybe I'm lucky this has all happened now...

I approve, I call that disappear from their lives.