I think if you'll get a huge boost if you read the initial posts of this thread. You'll feel so much better about yourself!

Now keep going!

First I would say gain that self respect of yours back that you say you lost.. When you get to this point of no self respect you tend to do things that aren't necessary to get the one that you say you love..
This may sound a little bad in some way but just know that everyone breaks up. Not everyone stays together forever.

She sounds just like my ex
That's not a good thing because she left me for a guy she chatted to on Facebook for only 2wks, and I caught her having fonesex onenight, said nothing and went back to sleep, only to wake and forget about it /think I dreamt it... beleive me she's playing you and if I were you I would just ignore her as the relationship is doomed to failure just like mine was... its hard to give up I know... all this happened to me less than 2wks ago and I'm still recovering but if there's one thing I know its this... you or I don't need or deserve to be treated this way... go find a good honest girl with a honest heart, who really cares about your feelings and wants to be a part of your life, and not the reason you are alive.

Wow... thanks everyone.

I was sleeping last night, woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep thinking about the fact that I made so that there was NOOOO way for her to contact me (except for our friend).

That's crazy.

After 5 years... I just changed or deleted any way for her to reach me.

I still feel good about my decision and all but (here we go) I did draw first blood... in other words... although she had "left me" 3 weeks ago... I "officially" made it happen.

I keep running scenarios through my mind.. like what my friend told me.: she wanted to be dominated. If I would have beat the sh** out of her... cussed her etc... she would have stayed/had respect for me?

Crazy.

I really appreciate everyone's help through all of my ordeal. Now that the 'choices" have been made........any recommendations on how to continue to heal and put these "thoughts" of our relationship behind? Besides... talking about football... etc.

I really do want a healthy relationship with another woman. Did I do anything wrong?

Thanks

My recommendation: do NOT worry about finding another woman. Relationships are all about experience, in not only finding out what the other person wants, but what you want as well. Just take life as it goes, and be happy with yourself, and somewhere, sometime, someone will find you that likes you for who you are... until then HAVE FUN! Being single is A LOT of fun, and it isn't about worrying about girls.

People...

Get this.

Our mutual friend called. Said that he wanted my email address.. because I deleted my others. I gave it to him and he said the my EXgf wanted it because she is USING me for a professional reference for jobs she's looking for!!

Omg.

Comments? Now she has my email address!

You better tell your friend that wasn't a good idea, not without telling you first.

Yeah... well he has it now. Damn.

Keep u posted.

Did you agree to be a professional reference for her? If not, that's plain damn rude of her.. and even if you did, you're not obligated by any means. I ALWAYS ask first if I can use someone as a reference. Also, did you explain to your mutual friend that you did not want anything to do with your ex? It sounds like that might not have come across as clear the first time if you did. I personally would flat out ignore all inquiries as a professional reference in regards to her - the moment you open your mouth to say anything about her either positive or negative it can be used against you and that's drama you do NOT want. If she (or has someone else) asks about why you didn't respond ignore that too. Don't get involved with these games! You guys are broken up, you don't owe her squat.

On a side note, let your emotions settle first before letting your mind wander too much about if you did the right thing or not. Once your head is clear, you'll be able to look back at the relationship you had with more clarity to see if you did do anything wrong.

Hi... no I didn't say I would be a professional reference!! How about that for her? See what I dealt with! Maybe our friend hasn't told her about what I said. He said he'd tell her tommorw. When she drops by his place. And she hasn't read my email. Yet. But damn. To ask for that through our friend!! That's pretty lousy of her.

Comments? And I'd look like a coward if I deleted my. We email address like I was scared of her!!

Now I'm stuck k owing that she could email me anytime!!

Add her address to the spam filter. That way you'll never receive any e-mail from her. I did that and it does wonders.

Yeah but then I'd still look unmanly.Cuz. I didn't respond to her. I'm dAmned if I do and damned if I don't. Now what? I wait? I'll tell you what I won't respond to her email to me if she does write me.

Everybody. What are your opinions of my ex?

Thanks. I just want to get your thoughts of her. You see I wrote my original email to her 3 weeks ago and she has never contacted me until she needs this from me! >:

Why is that coward? You already told her you are done with her. So she shouldn't expect an answer to begin with. Personally, I think cowardice would be to answer any e-mail from her, when she didn't show any respect for you.

If you are done with her, you need to be done with her. You know what was one of my highlights today? My ex after weeks w/o any contact decides to send me a message on my IM, after I asked her not do so. I didn't even read. Just closed the window and blocked her. Felt so good. And I'm proud of it.

I'm missing the part where you would be "unmanly" by not responding to her? Is it unmanly to ignore spam? Didn't think so. She is the one who wanted to end it right? Well she has to live with the consequences. You have your own life now and don't owe her anything.

Get your last business dealings with her taken care of then ignore her and don't let her get under your skin. I know that you already know what you need to do.. now do it!

Well, its been two weeks, is there an update?

Well the update...

I feel like a big idiot with a "kick me" sign on my as$

I got an email from our mutual friend and it was a form that she had forwarded to him to forward it to me.

It was a "button" form that asked me how to rate her professionally.

What can I say... I freaking still love her you know? Its torture but I filled it out, with glowing recommendations.

I feel like a junkie. No really, I don't want the abuse. I'm not looking for that. You know some people like that... like her evidently!

Anyway, I hope I'm "done" now. Considering that she didn't email me, I guess that's a good thing. Now, lets hope she doesn't if she gets drunk etc... :0

Comments please. Don't kick my butt too much.

Its late at night... and after all this progres I made, I feel like I'm slipping back to false hope, despair.. etc.

I need to just not have anything to do with her. I was great today until my friend mentioned that she needed me for the recommendation!

Damnit.

This feeling will come and go. And it will happen sometimes even when she's not in your mind. It's weird to be alone again.

The best way to deal with these thoughts is really to remove them forcefully. Get a book or do some physical activity. It's really hard. And I'm not going to lie, it's going to be hard. But it will be good for you in the long run.

Thanks imtotallylost...

Ill keep trying... but its going to be day by day.