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Cidarean · Jun 16, 2011, 01:52 PM

My girlfriend has been texting and messaging other guys on her phone constantly when she's at work or when I'm not around. She then deletes her text messages off her phone because she doesn't want me to see them. When I look at her phone she asks why don't I trust her. I feel bad whens she says this, but how should I feel when she deletes text messages. Its not all text messages, just some. When It comes to emails or messages I read some sent ones that she sent that saids she misses some guy and asked when can she see him. When I confronted her on this she asked me why I'm snooping and said its just an old work friend she used to work with at her old job. How ever this guy just popped up out of no where, maybe he is an old work friend but why would she want to automatically want to see him? It makes no sense. What do you think is going on here.

Wondergirl · Jun 16, 2011, 01:57 PM

Originally Posted by Cidarean

When I look at her phone

Why are you checking her phone? If you checked mine, I'd drop you like a hot potato.

Cidarean · Jun 16, 2011, 02:00 PM

It's a two way street, she checks my phone all the time, and I have no problem with it. I have nothing to hide, nor do I delete my text messages. Im have been nothing but open on my end.

Wondergirl · Jun 16, 2011, 02:09 PM

Neither of you should be checking each other's phone. That is such a huge no-no in relationships, to check up on each other

Cidarean · Jun 16, 2011, 02:20 PM

I understand where your coming from. However I cannot erase the past. And as we have looked at each others phones and I see the message that I've seen, the question still stands. I haven't seen messages from this guy before, and she says it's the first time she's talked to him in a long time, but why would her reply to his first message, missing you, when can I see you. How should I take this?

Wondergirl · Jun 16, 2011, 02:33 PM

I think you should ignore it and change the way you two deal with each other.

There is NO trust in your relationship.

mmresd · Jun 16, 2011, 04:02 PM

How does wanting to see an old work friend make no sense? In my mind, that makes perfect sense. First of all, you need to stop snooping around. Two main reasons: 1) Everything you find while snooping around will look bad to you because of the intentions you have whenever you go snooping around. And 2) It will make her know that you don't trust her, which will in turn end your relationship if you don't stop right away. It might take a while longer for some females, but ALL females will end their relationship if they feel there is mistrust in the relationship, you are not supposed to know if she has been talking to someone else or not, so where is the right to complain about it? Also, if you do mistrust her so much, having said that a relationship will not work if there is no trust, why are you fighting so hard to be with someone who you can't even trust? Because up with her and go with someone who is going to fulfill your needs of insecurity, or change them.

Good Luck,
Javi

Cidarean · Jun 16, 2011, 04:25 PM

Im going to change them!

mmresd · Jun 16, 2011, 04:46 PM

Sure, but it is a LONG process, not from one day to another.

talaniman · Jun 16, 2011, 08:01 PM

Whatever happened to honest communications? You know straight answers from straight concerns.

How old are you both, and how long have you been in a relationship? You should be talking, not snooping because she has the answers you need, but you have to ask the question. I mean what's wrong with knowing about a friend she is planning to see? That's what I would have said when she threw the trust thing in your lap. She is supposed to satisfy your curiosity, but that checking phones thing is creepy.

BK201 · Jun 16, 2011, 10:09 PM

No matter whom she texts or what she texts don't stoop to looking at her texts. Don't give your phone either even if you think its being honest. Either way, I don't see any honest communications here. Tell her that you have some concerns in your mind and its bad for the relationship. Tell her that there is no point in a relationship without trust and open communication / understanding. If you think there is something that she is not able to tell it to you, tell her that you are always there for her to listen. You know her the best, so make her open her mind.