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    immigrant2010's Avatar
    immigrant2010 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 9, 2010, 04:51 PM
    Girl says she likes me, BUT... read on...
    Been friends with this girl for a while, she says she is very interested in me (been re-assured numerous times), but hangs out with other guys, texts them (even in front of me sometimes). It seems I am losing trust... she is aware of my concerns, but that doesn't seem to change things... still keeps contact with me... suggestions?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Dec 9, 2010, 05:02 PM

    Totally ignore her in person and her texts. Hang out with other girls and flirt with them. Do what we call No Contact (NC). Even if she approaches you to find out what's going on, smile, shake your head, walk away. Don't talk to her. Right now you are acting like a needy little puppy. She has all the power and has taken yours away. Let's get back your power.
    immigrant2010's Avatar
    immigrant2010 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 9, 2010, 05:42 PM
    Out of respect to her I haven't been doing such things, but I guess that kind of respect is not mutual at the moment... Why would a girl be saying things to a guy that she likes him and all and then without a second thought hang out with other guys? No respect? More options? Too self assured?

    Thanks for the answer, wondergirl.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #4

    Dec 9, 2010, 06:14 PM

    I would move on if I were you... The fact that she knows that this bothers you and doesn't change it(meaning stop it) then it's clear that she has no regard for you or your feelings.

    There are plenty of girls out there who are NOT game players.

    However, I would continue to be respectful towards her. Just keep it short and sweet.

    Good Luck.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #5

    Dec 9, 2010, 06:24 PM

    She is toying with your emotions and seeing how far she can take it. I'd just start ignoring her and put some distance between you.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Dec 9, 2010, 06:29 PM

    I'm confused. Are you two dating? Are you two a couple? It sounds to me like you're not in a relationship, you just have a mutual attraction to each other.

    If you're not boyfriend and girlfriend, she can text, flirt, hang out with and call whomever she wants.

    If you are a couple, and her behavior really bothers you and she refuses to stop, you have the option to walk away and find someone that better suits you.
    immigrant2010's Avatar
    immigrant2010 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Dec 9, 2010, 07:48 PM
    No, we are not dating yet, it's close to that point. I would like to see some commitments and respect from a person whom I would have something more serious with. I am not asking for complete isolation from other guys.

    No, we are not dating yet, it's close to that point. I would like to see some commitments and respect from a person whom I would have something more serious with. I am not asking for complete isolation from other guys (guy friends), but respect and trust. From my point of view this might be a game multiple choice for this girl lol
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #8

    Dec 9, 2010, 08:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by immigrant2010 View Post
    No, we are not dating yet, it's close to that point. I would like to see some commitments and respect from a person whom I would have something more serious with. I am not asking for complete isolation from other guys (guy friends), but respect and trust. From my point of view this might be a game multiple choice for this girl lol
    But you two aren't there yet. She isn't in a relationship with you, so she doesn't have to act like she is.
    immigrant2010's Avatar
    immigrant2010 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Dec 9, 2010, 08:29 PM
    But being close, wouldn't it be proper to act more respectable and responsible? That's my attitude and take on things.

    Perhaps I am being too demanding of the whole situation and should let it slide for now until things get more serious? ((sometimes being bit of perfectionist and blind trust can make things look worse than they are? :)
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #10

    Dec 9, 2010, 09:01 PM

    Quote Originally Posted by immigrant2010
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    But being close, wouldn't it be proper to act more respectable and responsible? That's my attitude and take on things.
    I say she doesn't owe you anything at this point.
    immigrant2010's Avatar
    immigrant2010 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Dec 9, 2010, 09:28 PM
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    Thanks for advise.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #12

    Dec 9, 2010, 10:10 PM

    I appologize, as I misunderstood your original post.

    I for some reason thought that you two were already in a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship.

    I didn't realize you two were only friends. So that changes my response.

    That being said, I agree with WG, at this point she doesn't owe you anything as of now.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Dec 9, 2010, 10:38 PM

    Are you crazy? Forget the other guys and have fun, but drop the expecting her to change all of a sudden. You're just another interesting friend she has. You want to stand out from the crowd? Get a life besides her. A fun one!

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