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lost_without · Aug 29, 2005, 06:03 PM

OK I kind of going out with this girls and were went on our date alls cool we made out a few times and I kisses her good night alls great but the next night I talk to her on the IM and she's like lets take it slow because I f**** things up sorry don't now if I can say that so but anyway the next day friends ask are you to going out she says no I didn't say s*** but I was like what the hell so I left but can anyone now basically getting to the point what does it mean to go slow and how would I now if she might be getting bored or unintrested??

Wildcat21 · Aug 29, 2005, 08:31 PM

Dude - you smothering this girl as well!!

Did you not listen to me before??

Call her like twice a week.

In the beginning woman DO NOT want to hear from you every day!! Ok? Quit it!! Give her time to miss you. If your in her face every day you WILL anooy her and she will be repulsed!! Yuck.

You're still being needy and insecure and coming gacross as desperate - woman HATE THIS!!

Be a man - do there stuff. QUIT CONTACTING HER THE NEXT DAY AFTER A DATE!! QUit it!! Give her time and space!!

Agasin - right now she doesn't want to hear from you every day.

fredg · Aug 30, 2005, 05:38 AM

Hi,
Going out on a date means just that, a date. It doesn't mean she is in love with you, likes you, or wants to be with you.
It's great that you had a good time together; she will not forget it. If you have respect for her, and treated her like a lady, she will remember it.
For now, don't get the idea that she is in love with you, and wants to talk with you every day, or maybe even twice a week!
Leave her alone. Don't call her. She feels like you are "smothering" her. Don't IM her or anything.
Give her at least two weeks, then maybe give her a phone call, ask how she is doing.
Meantime, call another girl, ask her out. Dating and meeting girls is just part of growing up, but please don't get the idea that after 1 or 2 dates, she is "yours"...
Best of luck,
fredg

s_cianci · Aug 30, 2005, 11:10 AM

Taking it slow means "I'm not ready for any kind of committment." That's OK ; accept that and be her friend and settle for whatever you can get out of this particular relationship. Remember that it's a two-way street in that you don't have to make any kind of promises or commitment to her either. Have fun with her but by all means don't let that keep you from having fun with other women as well. Don't pursue her ; let her pursue you.

shenda · Aug 30, 2005, 11:24 AM

It takes men several months to know if they are into the girl of their choice beyond physical attraction; she desires for you to get to know her, as a person, as a young lady without the pressure of sex. Sex is great in its time; however, she needs to you be in to her, she needs to discover the essence of you, and she wants you to do the same. Take it slow... let's not rush into anything... sex confuses, it creates emotions founded on a small window of time, which can be quite distort, because during a small window of time anything can look good, but does it have substance. Like slow dancing, the moves are intentional, the gaze is incredible peeking briefly into another's soul.

Remember, you are sexually driven "divide and conquer" your heart is no where in sight... it is a rush, a thrill to chase, relax and relate to the girl, the young lady who desires to be more than a cheap thrill. She likes you, interested but not ready to handle the emotional roller-coaster premature sex may cause