My girlfriend and I are doing long distance this summer, and we'd been fighting. In the beginning of the summer it was her arguing that I didn't communicate what I was doing and "had no time for her". I wanted a break because she would exhaust me with "you don't care about me" remarks, which weren't true because I was busy visiting family and friends when I came home for the summer. Everyone wanted to see me. She knew that. But she would never let us take a break. All I wanted was space.

Midway through the summer when she turned 21 she began to hang out with her girl friend and the girlfriend's brother, twice a week, and drink, which I felt self conscious about because she was spending so much time being tipsy around a guy I didn't know and had never met. We argued about this, resolved things, but then got into a silly fight over something else like two days later; she got "fed-up of this merry go round". She said she didn't know what else to do (neither did I) but take a break , and said I can make out with anyone but no sex. Idk why she said that because when I wanted a break, all I needed was space. I wasn't really confused about us or felt the need to "see what else is out there". So I was weirded out be her stressing the fact that I had free reign.

Right enough, 2 days after the break, she tells me she loves me and wants me and that she's not confused anymore. I found out of course that she did make out with her friends brother, the one I was pissed about in the beginning, like the next day. She said she felt I was being over protective and unsupportive of her new found social life. Also, she said she felt "unwanted" and "uncared" for and was "confused" about us and needed to feel something again.

So she flirted all night with this guy, went to his room and made out on his bed. She said there was nothing below the belt, and that she told him that she still loved me at the end of it when her asked for more. Apparently they talked about this and she left at 7 in the morning and went home crying because she regretted it. The guy she made out was her gfs brother, just as I had called it (wondering if I pushed her to him by being jealous when nothing was actually going on).

Should I forgive her? BTW, I did make out with someone, and she managed to get pissed. She said she always gets "rammed" in this relationship and that she wanted to mess up for once and know that I didn't, but I did. Apparently it was a test to see if I would be faithful (but she wouldn't?). Was I right to show concern about her best friends brother before anything happened? Did I push her to him?

Should I forgive her? How?

That is crazy. Move on

Could you be more specific? What exactly is crazy? She had a gag reflex when she tried to make out with another guy. She realized she only wants me. Shouldn't I move on with HER?

If you cannot communicate to have clear rules and boundaries of acceptable behavior AND give each other enough attention, then what's the point in trying to maintain a long distance relationship?

If you are not going to solve the root problem, then forget it. Seems a reasonable schedule she could count on would have given you both the space to have fun, and enough attention.

So now you talk, and see if the conversation leads to solution that you both could agree on.

And you didn't have to go along with her conditions of the breakup in the first place,but you did, and that lead to being put through this crap with another dude. You both bear some responsibility for what has transpired, so you both have to talk and solve it!

TALK before you decide to get back together because some better adjustments have to be made by you both.

Thank you! I too believe that knowing each others schedules would have helped tremendously. We talked and are working on being better communicators when it comes to this. Thanks again!