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    kmj0317's Avatar
    kmj0317 Posts: 14, Reputation: 4
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    #1

    Oct 31, 2009, 01:49 AM
    What should I do?
    I have been dating this boy for 2 almost 3 years. He was my everything and I was his also. I decided to break up with him but I was not ready mentally and emotionally. I didn't try to get him back but we were still seeing each other until he rushed into another relationship. I was confused because it happened so far. I was his first everything. Now we are at the same college, we talk everyday and do something's that we shouldn't. He now have had two girlfriends of what I know of. Are there any chance that he could be rushing into these relationships so that he could get over me? I am not in love with him anymore but I do have love for him. I haven't moved on because I am finding myself and I'm not quiet over him really. I don't know what else I could do. Should I just let it go and move on or tell him how I feel about the situation. Could he still have love for me?
    kmj0317's Avatar
    kmj0317 Posts: 14, Reputation: 4
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    #2

    Oct 31, 2009, 01:50 AM
    How do you know if your best friend have a crush on you?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Oct 31, 2009, 01:52 AM
    Please be patient. This is not a chat room, but rather a message board. We volunteer our time here and because it is the middle of the night (for the members in the US), many are sleeping at this hour.

    It can take minutes, hours or days to get the answer you are looking for.
    summer7's Avatar
    summer7 Posts: 344, Reputation: 44
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    #4

    Oct 31, 2009, 01:52 AM

    Hi there,
    Are you saying that you broke up and are still having sex but he has a new girlfriend now? If this is what I am understanding, you need to speak with him and let him know that this arrangement is not OK with you.

    Don't let yourself be used by anyone. If he is playing around behind his girlfriend's back... first of all, this is wrong for him to do this to the girl he is in a relationship with and second of all you are being used.

    Even if he were to break up with the girl and come back to you, would you want to be involved with someone like this? He does not sound like a good match for you. I know it will be difficult to completely break away since you are at the same school but staying in this relationship will prove to be very painful for you. Try to move on with your life. Good luck!
    kmj0317's Avatar
    kmj0317 Posts: 14, Reputation: 4
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    #5

    Oct 31, 2009, 01:55 AM
    Yes I'm saying that but I'm not sure how serious they are


    I know that this is wrong and I disapprove also but I can't sit back and talk to him because of the person he is. I'm trying my best but I'm just so attached not only to him but his family also.
    summer7's Avatar
    summer7 Posts: 344, Reputation: 44
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    #6

    Oct 31, 2009, 02:09 AM
    Is he having sex with both of you? This is not a good arrangement. You need to be clear on where you stand. Have a conversation with him and ask him directly what his relationship with the girl is. If he is telling you he has a girlfriend, that seems serious to me. I am sure that it is serious to the girl and she also would not appreciate knowing that he is having sex with someone else.

    I would talk with him and ask him what his relationship with the girl is. If they are not a couple, ask him what your relationship with him is. It is not fair to you to be on the side being used for sex!

    Quote Originally Posted by kmj0317 View Post
    i know that this is wrong and i disapprove also but i can't sit back and talk to him because of the person he is. im trying my best but im just so attached not only to him but his family also.
    I understand that this is difficult. When the heart and emotions are involved, it is not easy to see things clearly. You really must try to have self respect. I know you will make the right decision here. You just need some time to get yourself back together. I am sure that you will tire of this situation before long.

    There is a great guy out there for you. Don't waste your time with this guy. You mention that you can't sit back and talk with him because of the person he is. You are giving him what he wants (sex with 2 girls) and you are not getting what you want (an honest conversation). Is this really OK with you?
    kmj0317's Avatar
    kmj0317 Posts: 14, Reputation: 4
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    #7

    Oct 31, 2009, 02:18 AM
    No he is not having sex with the both of us. He telling me that he have a girlfriend and that it is not serious. We have broken up so there's not a relationship between us. I actually don't know if they are serious.


    Its not just him it the both of us we can't have a decent conversation between the two because emotions get involved. This is difficult for me because I was truly in love with him
    summer7's Avatar
    summer7 Posts: 344, Reputation: 44
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    #8

    Oct 31, 2009, 02:26 AM

    Why did you guys break up?
    kmj0317's Avatar
    kmj0317 Posts: 14, Reputation: 4
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    #9

    Oct 31, 2009, 02:28 AM

    ii broke up with him which I had no reason to
    summer7's Avatar
    summer7 Posts: 344, Reputation: 44
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    #10

    Oct 31, 2009, 02:43 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by kmj0317 View Post
    its not just him it the both of us we can't have a decent conversation between the two because emotions get involved.
    You guys can't have a decent conversation because the emotions get involved and you broke up for no reason. If this is a relationship you are really interested in, then you will need to try and have a "mature" conversation with him. First and foremost, it needs to be clear that he is not involved with another girl. Then let him know that you made a mistake and want to give the relationship another chance.
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    kmj0317 Posts: 14, Reputation: 4
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    #11

    Oct 31, 2009, 02:47 AM

    I don't think there will ever be another and I'm not ready for the relationship to happen again. Just because I am interested in doesn't mean this is something that could be worked out.
    summer7's Avatar
    summer7 Posts: 344, Reputation: 44
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    #12

    Oct 31, 2009, 02:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by kmj0317 View Post
    i dont think there will ever be another and im not ready for the relationship to happen again. just because i am interested in doesnt mean this is something that could be worked out.
    Sometimes you just have to give a situation time to run it's course. Just have patience. It's good to write out your feelings and share them with others. You will get over this. You will move on and meet someone else. It does get easier... just takes time.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Oct 31, 2009, 08:14 AM
    Your so hung up on a guy that has so many other females.
    (Probably having sex with them too, but you will never know for sure will you)

    Stop having sex with a guy who has other girlfriends, as he is playing all of you. How smart is that?

    What was smart was, breaking up with him. Even smarter if you left him, and his harem alone.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #14

    Oct 31, 2009, 09:49 AM
    Get tested for STD's.

    Concentrate on your education not on him.

    If you can't talk to him then you shouldn't be having sex with him. What happens if you get pregnant (don't tell me about the effectiveness of the birth control you're using, because the only 100% effective birth control is at least four layers of properly worn clothing and NO wandering hands)?

    More than likely you were the 'bad' relationship and the other girl (or one like her) was the understanding 'bed buddy' when you were in the actual relationship.

    You need to get rid of him and go No Contact to heal yourself. You broke up with him. Whether you fully know the reason or not, your instincts told you to run. OBEY them.

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