I went out with this girl for a few months 6 years ago knowing that she was going to take a job in another state. At the time she had an on again off again relationship with another man in this state. We stayed in touch every six months or so. She finally moved back to this area about a year ago & moved in with this on again off again boyfriend. They ended in Dec. of 06. Her & I started dating again in the middle of January & I have fallen head over heels with her. We have been talking marriage & the possibility of a child. I have a 15 year old son old & think so much of her that I am willing to do it again. I am 43 years old & she is 39. This on again off again boyfriend is 47. We went to Vegas last weekend & we have been having a great time. We arrive home Tuesday, & Wednesday I receive a call from her telling me that the on again off again boyfriend has proposed & she accepted. I was rather cool about it on the phone & asked after some time of saying "did you make the right decision" etc. why did she feel the need to go back? Was there anything I could say or do to change her mind? She sid no & proceeded to say that she wanted my blessing. I told her she was blessed & that was it. Mind you, we were both telling each other that we loved each other by this time. I believe that he became extremely jealous & didn't want to lose her so he did what was necessary for him. Made a last ditch effort that worked, hopefully temporarily. Now I don't want to be with someone that is in love with someone else, but I also don't want to lose her if that is possible. I emailed her the evening of the breakup telling her that I would call her in afew days. 4 days later she emailed me telling me she would like to arrive Wednesday to pick up her stuff & drop mine off. So I didn't call her over the weekend & didn't go fight for her immediately. I was shocked & didn't know what to do. I heard that immediate contact was weak, maybe I messed up maybe not. We talked today & I let her have it a little by saying that I thought she was making the biggest mistake of her life. She agreed that she might be but had to follow her heart. I don't know what to do from here. Let go or fight for her?
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You have to let her go. I don't think you see what she did to you. She's kept you on the back burner for all these years and when she needed you, after her break up with the man she's really interested, she brought you to the front burner. But it was never met to be long term from her perspective. I don't care what she told you, either... trust me she said those things to keep you in her emotional check. She knew what she was saying and she knew you were into her more than she was you. But she never had intentions of making it serious or long term. She just needed somebody to keep her occupied until the other relationship started back up.

Be glad she's gone and she's not using you anymore.

This is not worth your time. Move on and be happy its not you who is marrying her.