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    Stunning07's Avatar
    Stunning07 Posts: 193, Reputation: 25
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    #1

    Apr 27, 2007, 06:14 PM
    getting back together w/ my x of 2 years
    well I don't want you guys reading what happened but from my previous post, my x and I have dated for 2 years, I dumped her, tried coming back she said no, than after a month of calling her begging her etc... I left her alone, and one day she called me saying she does love me, so there we tried to make things, work... like many others getting back felt so different it did't feel the same, after weeks of getting that spark back, it starts feeling the same...

    my question is now after were back together she has been real busy lately I know she has, but we don't even have time to talk at all because of how busy she is, she'll text me than not text me for hours... but ill see she can get on Facebook and myspace... but not bother to text me nor call... she doest even call me when she goes to sleep and I told her how I felt when I do tell her.. she says.. I'm so tired can we talk later I don't want to talk about this.. etc... any advice in what I should do? Should I not be convient for her 0r be there for her?. I really don't know but I do know its time to do something
    Stunning07's Avatar
    Stunning07 Posts: 193, Reputation: 25
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    #2

    Apr 28, 2007, 07:41 AM
    No advice??
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #3

    Apr 29, 2007, 04:46 PM
    She knows she can have you at any time so why go out of her way to chat with you. So pull back and see what happens. The spark you speak of may just be from your end so don't get to comfortable or fall to hard.
    mckenzie134's Avatar
    mckenzie134 Posts: 647, Reputation: 67
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    #4

    Apr 29, 2007, 04:58 PM
    No spark at her end , reignite the spark pull back and let her make the moves, don't act to keen. Its going to be a hard procee and probably won't work. Once a break occurs it takes time to go back to normal. Struggling from here maybe time to move on. So hard though... stick at it
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    May 14, 2007, 01:25 PM
    Well since you have been absent a while I trust the two of you have made progress and are moving forward together.
    Stunning07's Avatar
    Stunning07 Posts: 193, Reputation: 25
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    #6

    May 14, 2007, 05:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    Well since you have been absent a while I trust the two of you have made progress and are moving forward together.

    Its been okay.. everytthing is different, w/ her she makes no attempt to show me that she cares for me as much as she use to... you can only take so much and than that's it your FED UP, and I'm waiting for that to happen, if she doest show me she's mature enough
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    May 14, 2007, 05:19 PM
    Do you thinks she is just going very slow this time around?
    Stunning07's Avatar
    Stunning07 Posts: 193, Reputation: 25
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    #8

    May 14, 2007, 05:26 PM
    Umm... no I think she is basically like everyone else she learned her mistake, and doest feel like she should treat me like she use to0, I'm the only one that says sorry my bad, basically I call her back alwways let her win I don't care about her winning, but it shows me how stubborn she is and how much she doest care at all I guess I still think she's that old girl she use to be I don't know I'm just confused w/. Her now
    ForeverZero's Avatar
    ForeverZero Posts: 312, Reputation: 82
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    #9

    May 14, 2007, 05:32 PM
    Try to think of this as a new relationship, not a continuation of where you left off. You can't expect her to think of you as the best thing in her world right after you dumped her and she came back to you. You need to slow the hell down, and take it from the top, don't expect her to make you top priority in her life, she did it once and she got burned. So just play her game for the time being, don't be overly needy, and don't force her to talk about this stuff, just take things as they come.
    Stunning07's Avatar
    Stunning07 Posts: 193, Reputation: 25
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    #10

    May 19, 2007, 07:44 PM
    Is it a big deal or Is it not a big deal?
    Hey people I was wondering for you guys in a relationship or not...

    Is it a big deal to you guys if your partner comes homes after a late night but never gives you a phone call... just to say hey I'm home?


    My girlfriend use to always give me a phone call all the time when she'd get home before our break up, now were together and she's goes out a lot more, comes home late which is cool I don't mind but she never gives me a phone call even just to say hey I'm home, YA you I know you guys its not a BIG deal but to me I feel if some one that cares for a person, should always let that person know that I'm safe, and I'm going to bed... its not even about going to bed its just to let your partner know that I care and I thought about you know matter how much fun I had.


    I fought with her several times, and told her how I feel, she said I'm making a big deal and she still does it, even though she knows I care about her giving me a call, I sound pretty stupid so that's why I need to know if I'm making a big deal...

    Any opinons or advice in what I should do?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    May 19, 2007, 08:18 PM
    I've never expected any g/f to check in. Why? I already know how she feels.
    Stunning07's Avatar
    Stunning07 Posts: 193, Reputation: 25
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    #12

    May 19, 2007, 08:24 PM
    So your saying if y ou had a love one... and she never called you, it would't bother you? talaniman?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    May 19, 2007, 09:30 PM
    What I said was that I would not expect her to check in. I know how she feels, so its not a big deal when she calls as long as it her choice. I don't ever remember asking a female I went with why didn't she call me. Not a big deal, as we will hook up. In person, or over the phone. There was no texting, or cell phones, for that matter. Emails either, oh god maybe that's why it wasn't a big deal. Hell to be honest, we didn't have personal computers either.
    I still don't go into the insecure, call me every minute stuff. Who has the time? I had many females as friends and g/f's before I was married.
    mckenzie134's Avatar
    mckenzie134 Posts: 647, Reputation: 67
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    #14

    May 20, 2007, 01:27 AM
    I know what you mean Stunning. My ex used to go out, but when she got home she used to always call me at like three in the morning and say I'm home. Always. The reason they call is they really like you, and want to hear your voice. The reason she may not be calling as much now, is because I think you dumped her didn't you! That is the reason she has probably spoken to her friends, and they have said when you get home don't call him all the time. WHATEVER YOU DO< DO NOT MENTION THAT SHE SHOULD CALL> The reason she would call is because she wants to, but now you want her to, she doesn't care. She probably used to call cause, she was wondering a little bit where you were. Let it go, its called TRUST she will eventually start to call again when you get control back lay

    Don't CALL HER AS OFTEN YOU WILL SEE THE CHANGE!! START IT NOW
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #15

    May 20, 2007, 06:05 AM
    Everyone is watching to see how you handle getting your girl back, and if you think things will be like they were your in trouble, because I think she will demand more from you, and do less, as this is essentially a new relationship. Don't expect it to be as it was. Be careful what you make an issue as I bet she stands her ground, no matter how you feel.
    Stunning07's Avatar
    Stunning07 Posts: 193, Reputation: 25
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    #16

    May 20, 2007, 07:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by mckenzie134
    I know what you mean Stunning. My ex used to go out, but when she got home she used to always call me at like three in the morning and say I'm home. Always. The reason they call is they really like you, and want to hear your voice. The reason she may not be calling as much now, is because i think you dumped her didn't you!! That is the reason she has probably spoken to her friends, and they have said when you get home dont call him all the time. WHATEVER YOU DO< DO NOT MENTION THAT SHE SHOULD CALL> The reason she would call is because she wants to, but now you want her to, she doesn't care. She probably used to call cause, she was wondering a little bit where you were. Let it go, its called TRUST she will eventually start to call again when you get control back lay

    DONT CALL HER AS OFTEN YOU WILL SEE THE CHANGE!!!! START IT NOW

    See talilmanan that's what I mean, that's why I'm making a big deal but yes I am going to lay back, I'm tired of nagging at her, I know it pushes that person back ill start too give her some space, and keep you guys up on the update
    Stunning07's Avatar
    Stunning07 Posts: 193, Reputation: 25
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    #17

    Jun 1, 2007, 09:19 PM
    well guys I'm starting nc wish me luck.
    as you guys no my x and of four years, have been going through some struggles, in dec, I kind of quit paying attention to her, it was my fault after a month and a half break, I came back to her, she ended up getting so many friends, and I started chasin her for a two and a half months straight, in April we stareted talking again she said she loved me etc... but she never had a break from me... she claims she's not attached to me, she never showed me she loved me after we got back together, and I finali today got it out of her...

    she told me she loves me and I do believe her, but those words don't mean nothing to me anymore from her mouth, she said, she never got a break from me, and she needs one? so now I'm simply going to start NC, its not as hard for me as the first time, but it hurts, I know I know its time for me to let go, I still have a feeling well end up making it but, what's done is done I will let you guys informed in how I do, tomorrow June 2 will be day 1 of NC


    the first time she did't want me back, for a month or so, and than she came back, I took her back to quick I went to fast, and it did't teach her a lesson, if I still love her when she comes back which I know she will, but I don't care, I will simply end up letting her go... I'll be praying to god, and keeping busy I'm strong enough and been through so much with her, I'm ready to let go. -shez
    mckenzie134's Avatar
    mckenzie134 Posts: 647, Reputation: 67
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    #18

    Jun 1, 2007, 09:36 PM
    Yes good luck
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #19

    Jun 2, 2007, 05:42 AM
    Sorry you had to go through the misery and pain to find out that this has been over for a while. Since you have realised now that you've been selfish and very stubborn, I hope you can make a clean break and don't look back.
    Stunning07's Avatar
    Stunning07 Posts: 193, Reputation: 25
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    #20

    Jun 2, 2007, 06:36 AM
    Yes its very hard, especially because we been through so much, I had a clean break with her, I kninda started being possesive when we started talking again, I know there's no guy nutthing like that envole, she said she needs a break, and want to miss me? It doest matter anymore, I hope before she comes back ill manage to let go, its very sad, but I guess its life

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