I want the woman of my dreams back but during a three year split (in which we have maintained a superb relationship) I feel I have been trapped by my current partner and all hope of getting back with the ex is all but gone.

Basically my current partner got pregnant around 15 months ago and now I have a child with the current, I left my current partner a month before she told me she was pregnant only for her to drop this bombshell on me when she realised all hope was gone.

There is a catch, when I got with my current she told me she could not get pregnant due to a scan revealing she only had one ovary which was polysystic. After a 6 months of being together I stopped using condoms and she went onto the contraceptive injection. To my shock she revealed she was pregnant and now I am in a relationship I don't want to be, simply for the love of my 6 month year old boy.

My ex who wanted me back so much and my feelings were mutual turned her back once I told her Beckie was pregnant so I fear all hope is gone, although she has recently declared her love for me she feels too much has happened for things to go back, I agree but she is the love of my life. Is there a way? Should I walk away from the relationship with a child.. May I add my previous relationship ended due to my ex walking out with my daughter and pregnant with my other other due to an emotional breakdown whilst experiencing severe post natal depression which she now openly admits.

Around six months after we initaly split she wanted to get back but I was so hurt by how easily she just walked away I couldn't... Discuss?

I notice that this is not the emotion behind this thread - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post2982303.

That having been said - I think you should keep it in your pants from this time forward. Three children with two women? How do you support all of them?

Okay - assuming you feel no loyalty toward the mother of your most recent child (I gather she's not your girlfriend) and assuming you "ex" can live with the knowledge that you already have three children with two women I'd ASK her what she wants to do.

Do you walk away? That's up to you. Lots of single mothers are out there raising children - it sounds like the mother of the other 2 is already doing just that.

You've walked away before. Can you do it again? Only you know.

After reading the other thread I think he would do a service to the current one by walking away. But my guess is the ex will not have him back either,

You obviously haven't read this post properly Judy, its not a case of keeping it in my pants, I strongly believe I have been trapped by my current girlfriend, or it's the coincidence of a lifetime, these things happen. I have never walked away from my family before either, I am a man of integrity and could never do such a thing without a strong motive.

Please answer based on the facts given, if there is something you need to know ask, don't make assumptions please

My ex would be the mother of my two daughters.

I pay for my children and see them on a regular basis, I pay for all their social events, holidays, Christmas etc, I am a man who stands by his children, they are my life, fortunately I am educated and have a great career.

Harshness Warning

How dare you blame the consequences on the choices you made on someone else.

You decided to leave one pregnant female and get another pregnant.

You decided you were to hurt to reconcile with the first, and get another.

You decided to forego a rubber and trust another form of birth control, when there is no such thing as 100% birth control other than abstinence.

You decided to stay with the new pregnant female, and see your kids.

These are all consequences of your own actions and logic dictates a guy who feels trapped by a pregnant female Doesn't have to stay.

But you don't get to feather a new bed for yourself, complain, and make excuses for your actions by blaming others.

May I suggest you get over your hurt feelings, and suspicions, self pity, and deal with reality by making better choices, and accepting responsibilities for this situation? That would be a great start, before you turn your two families topsy turvy, because you can't think clearly, and separate FACTS, from FEELINGS!!

In short, deal with what you got, before jumping back to what you had. Then you aren't caught in the middle of your own BS!!

I will simply transpose what I wrote from the last post into this one so all can see as I think it is a fair reflection to the narrow minded quite ignorant to what I have actually written approach as you last muddled up comment...

Talaniman, please read the lyrics and not somewhere between where you are currently finding yourself.. I haven't suggested one isn't related to the other, I have simply asked that each is answered individually.. I am fully aware one is subjective of the other and I am also fully aware on what grounds. Thankfully our views on parenting are completely chalk and cheese and I will leave it there rather than picking the rights and wrongs of your comments. On another note in which you haven't read this thread correctly, the behaviour towards my eldest from my current partner is unfair end of.. I respect your honest opinion but its off the mark, you are you discussing topics I am already aware of and not the questions that are staring right at you, my current partner is a great mother and I am a great father to each of my children, equal and fair, however the problem lies with my current vindictive, possessive, self centered partner who would love nothing more than to take me away from my family (she has suggested it on many occassions), so it can be her, my son and I, it isn't simply the lack of relationship between the two, it's the way she is with my eldest. She is a fab mother to her own, however a resentment of my previous family life and a general resentment of men (oh god I cannot even go into some of the things she has said, even a person by your morale standards would find totally unforgiving). This isn't about my state of mind, its not the problem here, the problem is a series of events leading up to today from both female parties in my life which has led to this dilemma, I haven't even brushed the surface, this is a complex, totally individual case I assure you, so rather than jumping the gun and coming up with your ludicrous solution to my dilemma, which may I add is so cliché (its all in his mind), delve further, ask me some follow questions and he shall answer, if the psychologist in you feels the need to judge based on a few hashed together paragraphs your judge of character is under scrutiny in my eyes. A very old philosophy would sum this up, never judge a book by its cover! To many here seem very quick to judge rather than assist, one of lifes shortfalls I fear. Never mind, please give me a break from this one dimensional, narrow minded approach to what you obviously believe is the long lost answer to all of my lifes problems..

What the hell are you doing with a female who underminds your other family?

You are deceiving everyone, mostly yourself.

"I strongly believe I have been trapped"

You are right. But just in your own actions & conscience.

Maybe leave all involved alone. Start fresh.

Until you figure out what it is you want. Reality-wise.

I'm working on why a well employed, educated man, is posting his problems on an open Internet site - ?

I find this to be interesting - "I am a man of integrity and could never do such a thing without a strong motive." So men of integrity do the wrong thing and that's all right and doesn't offend their standards of morality IF there's a strong motive?

I don't think men of integrity bounce from woman to woman, fantasize about the woman of their dreams while with another woman. I don't think men of integrity excuse their behavior by paying for the children's "needs" while being absent from the lives of those children... on a daily basis.

I'm also not sure educated men who are well employed get "trapped" by psycho women who lie about their ability to get pregnant.

Let's see, what is the score? Three children, no commitment.

I fail to see the strong morality here.

This is another example where every woman who leaves a man does so because he drinks, drugs and "might" be abusive. Of course, there was none of this before she got pregnant. Apparently pregnancy causes drinking, drunking, irresponsible behavior in men.

And every man is "trapped" by a woman who is psycho, something he never noticed until after the child was born.

Perhaps the psycho woman was the best (or only) woman OP could find at that time - ?

Don't believe me? Read the legal boards.